


Anything for you, Doc

by JennyferStrange



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banner Has Issues, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Child Abuse, Depression, Discussion of Abortion, Eating Disorders, F/M, Female Bruce Banner, Forced Pregnancy, Gender or Sex Swap, Heterosexual Sex, Imprisonment, Kidnapping, Mental Health Issues, Murder, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Physical Therapy, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnant Sex, Slow Romance, Steve is trying to help with them, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Therapy, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-17 19:00:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5881984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyferStrange/pseuds/JennyferStrange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beverly Banner just wanted to get away from the world that hated her and live her life in peace–that didn't happen. Instead she and a rag tag group of heroes saved the world, and the world hailed her as a hero. The past, however eventually catches up with her (it always does) and changes everything she had planned.</p><p>Finished and edited. Thanks for sticking with me this long!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How I met Dr. Beverly Banner

**Author's Note:**

> So this is an adventure I started as a writing exercise, and it took on a life of its own. This is also a genderbend story (I seem to like those for some reason?) and I realized there wasn't much for Female Bruce Banner. So this is my contribution to our small fandom. I hope you like it. The story is complete I am just editing it with RustyCopper215, the chapters will be posted as we finish the editing process. Again, please heed the warnings. I tried by best to get everything, but if you feel I missed something please feel free to leave me a comment. I will tag it as soon as I can. Please enjoy!

Natasha meets the elusive doctor first. Dr. Beverly Banner follows the small child closely, the SHIELD agent feels a jolt surprise at the alertness in the doctor’s eyes and the obvious compassion for the little girl. Romanoff supposes she’d been expecting more harden lines and suspicion, not a trusting doctor, who easily follows children to the outskirts of the city. When the child escapes through the window Banner pauses, a wry smile grows on her face. Natasha steps out of her hiding place and the biophysicist turns, body deceptively calm. The Black Widow talks to the doctor like a scared animal, slow but firm. Banner smiles, throws out a few quips as though they were actually having a conversation and then she turns an about face, screaming and slamming her hands on the table. Natasha feels the fear race through her and her body reacts, immediately drawing her gun. Banner smiles down the barrel of the gun as though amused by its presence.

“I’m sorry, that was mean. I just wanted to see what you'd do. Why don't we do this the easy way, where you don't use that, and the other guy doesn't make a mess? Okay? Natasha...” The doctor apologizes softly. Natasha slows her breathing and tells the men around the hut to stand down. Dr. Banner quirks an eyebrow, snarks, and agrees to come to SHIELD. As they load up, Natasha realizes in that moment, the Dr. Banner she sees is a mask. The danger of Dr. Banner sits heavy in her stomach the whole way to SHIELD.

Steve’s first impression of Dr. Banner is she’s distinctly uncomfortable. She’s dodging the people, looking around for a place to hide. Her wild curls, wide eyes, and nervous hands tell a story of fear. Steve can’t help but stare and study her, in the back of his mind he can hear the roar of the monster lurking behind the sun worn skin. She smiles and greets him but her discomfort disrupts the ritual, as though she isn’t used to greeting anyone. She wrings her hands before and after their handshake.

“Word is you can find the cube.” Steve tries. She almost instantly recoils from him, hands pulled close to her stomach. Steve can’t help but offer a smile, she’s so uncomfortable, he almost turns and tells Agent Romanoff to take her back to land.

“Is that the only word on me?” She asks softly, her eyes are sharp waiting for the answer. Steve locked eyes with the genius.

“Only word I care about.” 

Dr. Banner graces him with another smile acknowledging his attempt at a comforting lie. Natasha ushers them inside as the helicarrier takes off, Dr. Banner laughs, but to Steve it sounds like a choking sob.

Tony’s first impression of Dr. Banner comes from a list of papers SHIELD had handed him months ago. Beverly Banner: on a good day a giant green rage monster, on a normal day a genius scientist, and on bad day a target of US Military––Tony’s kind of person. When he finally meets her in person, he sees the way she’s curled in on herself and something in the back his head snarls. Everyone around her is tense, and Beverly is doing everything in her power to disappear in her own skin. Stark knows what it is like to be the freak in the room. So he straps on his smile and dances to the tune only scientists would understand. She falls into step easily, soon they are in the lab. He invites her repeatedly to the Tower, planting ideas that the Hulk is something that can be used for good. Tony coaxes her out of her shell, she laughs quietly. Every peaceful sound is a win, then the Capsicle comes in and destroys all his hard work.

“Are you nuts?” The Super Soldier demands after he witnesses Tony shocking Beverly with some of the equipment. Dr. Banner’s joking smile dies a very sudden death as she reassures the Captain there is no danger from Tony’s antics. Tony blatantly ignores Rogers trying to keep the gentle banter going.

“You really have got a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?” Tony asks rapid fire and gets an amused snort for his effort.

“Is everything a joke to you?” Steve demands, his body language all wrong and Banner slips back into her head. Tony knows he’s lost most of his progress. He does his best to boost the woman’s confidence, snarking at Steve. Then they turn to more important things, like Fury and the secrets his secrets have. Finally the star spangled stick up his ass leaves, Tony turns back to Beverley; he does his best to undo the damage of Steve’s distrust. 

“Hey, I've read all about your accident. That much gamma exposure should have killed you.” Her face twists into something other than calm emotion.

“So you're saying that the Hulk...the other guy... saved my life?” Dr. Banner breathes calm back into her body “That's nice. It's a nice sentiment. Saved it for what?” Tony backs off, throwing out a non-answer. Tony isn’t sure why she reacted the way she did, but he stores it in the back of his mind to think about when the world isn’t in crisis.

Fury tenses when the Avengers find Phase Two, the one thing he thought he could keep hidden on his damn helicarrier. He realizes that having Rogers and Stark in the same room is perhaps not the best of ideas; then Natasha aggravates the Hulk, maybe out of fear, maybe out of professionalism. The point is Fury can’t see a way out of a confrontation from someone else and one member of this crew might accidentally kill them all.

“I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed.” Beverly snips at Natasha’s suggestion to remove herself from the situation. Stark’s eyes are alight with pride when the woman stands up for herself. He throws himself into the argument in her defense and everything goes to hell. They all start to argue at once. Fury keeps an eye on the agitated woman and he tries to calm her, explain the reasoning for the cell in a nonthreatening manner. Then the truth falls out when no one expected it.

“In case you needed to kill me, but you can't! I know! I tried!” The words come out, short and weighty. Tony and Steve faces fall. The entire room falls silent and Dr. Banner continues on.

“I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out! So I moved on. I focused on helping other people. I was good, until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk!” As Dr. Banner speaks, the words grow sharper and sharper. The air changes, and everyone knows they are on the edge of something. Then the woman fasten her gaze on Romanoff, pinning her there. Dr. Banner snarls for a moment lifts the scepter. Everyone holds their breath, but in her usual casual fashion Beverly doesn’t turn, instead making a joke out of her anger. Tony offers the woman a smile, then a bomb explodes and everything falls apart.

Thor finds the Hulk fascinating. He didn’t know the woman –– Banner –– who housed such a creature, but there is more to her than meets the eye. No weak thing could have such power. He recognizes the fear, the confusion. This creature, the Hulk, isn’t trying to hurt, it’s doing its best to escape. They clash and Thor feels exhilaration. He knows that this creature will be an comrade one day. And maybe the woman who kept this power could be a friend. Thor resolves that if he continues to have dealings with these Avengers he will pay attention to Dr. Banner and treat her with the respect a mighty warrior is due.

The battle of New York is over, and the Hulk shrinks into Banner. Clint’s first thought is one of confusion. The woman housing the Hulk is small and gentle eyed. She’s mostly naked when she comes to, but she doesn’t seem particularly surprised or bothered by it. Steve immediately finds her clothing that she can cover herself with. At shawarma she eats more than any of them, much to Barton admiration and surprise. She finishes her food, politely cleaning up the table, still wrapped in the found clothing that hangs off of her. No one speaks. When the team splits, Tony lays claim to her as he all but ushers Dr. Banner away (“uh, you can call me Bev” She whispers as they say good-bye). Something about that bothers Clint as she passively leaves, a thought that seems stuck somewhere in his mind. As Natasha fills him in on everything he’s missed, it clicks for Hawkeye: she has become a part of his unit, therefore she is someone to protect and be protected by. 

Banner lays in the ridiculously large bed that Tony insists she sleep in during her stay (how long will it be before she forgets how to sleep on the ground?). The whole way to his Tower, Tony fills the silences with his chatter, with all the possibilities a genius, hero such as herself could do in his R&D labs. The word for what she is, monster, suddenly replaced by a small thought ––hero. Emotion wells up in her chest and tears begin to leak down her face. Her heart doesn’t set off any warning bells, but the sobs wrack her frame. She is exhausted, yet sleep is not her ally. Beverly fears the nightmares, the flashes of Hulk memories that will bleed through. The fear that flashed across everyone’s faces when the bomb had forced a transformation in the helicarrier.  
“Dr. Banner, are you in need of assistance?” JARVIS’s voice cuts across her mental spiral. She sighs.

“No, thank you JARVIS.” She whispers through the tears. Beverly takes a deep breath and relaxes, maybe, just maybe, it will be ok.

Days in the new Avenger Tower are the best that Beverly have ever had. She’s totally out of the public eye and Tony’s given her, her own personal lab. It has everything she wants, and for the first time she is comfortable in her own skin. She creates, builds on projects that Tony keeps sending her. Dr. Banner keeps her scientist hours, sleeping between tests and when it’s convenient. She emerges occasionally to find Steve, Natasha, and Clint around. Thor’s gone back to his home world, the Tesseract in tow. Everything is good.

“Dr. Banner?” Steve calls, wandering into the room she was last seen in. He finds the woman sprawled out on the couch, TV on, mouth wide open. She’s snoring, her curly hair tangled in a nest fit for rats, and Steve’s mouth curls into a grin. He quietly approaches, he knows she hasn’t eaten much today, and lays a hand on her back. She wakes with a slight start.

“Dr. Banner, dinner.” Captain Rogers says softly, trying not to laugh at her sleepy, unfocused stare. She stares at him for a brief second and promptly rolls over. Steve laughs out of surprise, and then stares at her for moment, unsure of what to do. 

“Move over Cap.” Tony says, blanket in hand. The super soldier watches as Tony lays the blanket out and then scoops the smaller woman up. She huffs but clings on.

“Bed or food?” Tony asks. She mutters something. He nods. He carries her into the dining area. The rest of the team stare at the odd sight.

“Is Dr. Banner ok?” Clint asks eyeing the half asleep woman. Tony nods absently.

“Bev’s fine, she was up the last couple of days. JARVIS was monitoring her for any dangerous signs of exhaustion, she’s still within survivable parameters.” The billionaire explains as he sets her down on a chair. Natasha walks over with a plate of food and places it in front of the biophysist. Beverly picks at the food and says nothing the whole evening. Occasionally Tony will push food around on her plate, or ever grab her forgotten fork and stab food on it. The meal ends and Tony immediately goes to grab her, but Cap gets there first.

“It’s alright Stark. I can take her.” Steve offers. The two men lock eyes for a moment before Tony nods. Beverly goes easily into his arms and falls asleep to the rhythm of his steps. As Steve lays the Doctor onto her bed it clicks: this woman is the lynch pin of their group. She is the one that they want to be. Calm, kind, and understanding are the traits that make up her daily interactions with people. The rest of the Avengers float around her, taking the light she has to offer. Steve sighs.

“I’m sorry Dr. Banner.” He whispers, apologizing for everything that was his fault.

“Don’t be.” Dr. Banner responds, before rolling over. Steve stares for a moment in surprise and then laughs quietly as he leaves the bedroom to go find Tony. Tony is right where Steve thought he would be, in the lab.

“Is that normal?” Steve asks referring to the level of exhaustion Dr. Banner managed to achieve.

“Brilliant science is time consuming. Sleep is for the weak, you just go until you can’t see straight then run a few more tests.” Tony says, his words hold fondness in every sound.

“Isn’t that dangerous?” Steve asks.

“Bev’s an adult woman, Rogers. She can decide what she wants to do.” The words have an edge to them. Steve lifts his hands in surrender.

“That’s not what I meant Tony. If that were you needing to be carried to bed, I’d ask her the same thing.” Tony stares at the Captain for a moment as if deciding something.

“The military still considers her property. Did you know that? Legally on paper she’s a weapon, a stolen weapon.” The billionaire states, Rogers whips his head in surprise at the non-sequitur.

“What?”

“See, Fury didn’t tell us everything so I went digging for some answers. General Ross, hired her to work on the Super Solider serum, pushed her to point of self experimentation. Held her hostage, and continued experimentation. SHIELD is still in litigation with the US Military over who ‘owns’ Beverly. Also you gotta think, what was it in her past that gamma radiation brought to life a giant green indestructible Hulk?”

Steve finds himself in the lab with Tony for the rest of the night. Something about wanting to know Dr. Banner’s past lights a fire of determination in Steve’s mind. Military files are easy for Tony to hack (Steve pushes away his concern for military security for a later date). He gets through in a matter of an hour and pulls up what Ross recorded. Steve finds himself breaking a table in response to what they find: confinement, torture, exhaustion, experimentation, the list of atrocities that Beverly suffered is long. Ross had managed to contain the Hulk using different experimental devices. Containment followed routine abuse and recordings of Banner’s recovery. Tony sits and watches everything unfold. The video footage goes on for countless hours. He hits the control pad.

“JARVIS, delete everything related to Ross and Dr. Beverly Banner, use facial recognition, since the good General couldn’t be bothered to use her name. Any trace of it, on any database, I want it wiped, now.” Tony orders softly, his mouth pulled tightly. The AI does so efficiently, Tony goes back to clicking on his computer. Steve watches him, unsure if he can say anything that won’t cause one of them to explode into a rage.

“Her favorite color is purple, do you think they knew that?” Tony asks suddenly, his voice low. Steve remains silent.

“It’s funny, the little things you get to know about a person. What makes them laugh, what makes them cry, and what gets them right in the heart!” Tony’s voice rises in volume until he shouts the word heart, hands slamming on either side of his workstation. Steve steps forward, resting his hand on the other man’s shoulder.

“Dr. Banner probably didn’t want us to worry or maybe she didn’t want anyone to know. She just wants to be left alone to do her work. I think that’s the best gift we can give her. That’s probably the only thing we can give her.” Tony is quiet, eyes unwavering, and his body still. Steve takes it as a sign of Tony listening so he presses on.

“Nothing we do or say will change what happened to her, but all of us together we can offer her is our support in whatever she wants to do.” Tony offers a quick nod in response before he returns to his work, ignoring the man behind him. Steve takes that as his sign to leave. As he walks out of the lab, Captain America feels a kinship to Iron Man that hadn’t existed before start to grow. For the first time they are speaking the same language. Steve returns to his room and hopes that he’ll be able to sleep after all he’s seen.


	2. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly settles into the life of an Avenger until her past comes creeping back...

For a while the world is silent. The Avengers get to know one another as housemates, they find that they get along most of the time. Tony and Steve are infamous for shouting matches over anything to do with money, morality, and national security. Beverly is known for not speaking for weeks on end, as she continues her research and assistance in Stark Industry’s R&D department. Natasha and Clint are gone as often as they are around, being the only members of the team that actually work for SHIELD. When they are around they force the other three to go out a do something as a group. It’s a comfortable life for everyone. But eventually the calm breaks without warning and in the worse possible way.

“Sir, you may want to turn on the news.” JARVIS’s voice breaks over Tony in his lab. 

“Not now J…”

“Sir, according the internet Dr. Banner is currently being pursued by unknown assailants.” Tony’s priorities change in an instant. The news reel comes up just in time to see nearly ten men shoot Beverly with glowing dart guns. She goes down with a roar, but she hits the ground, unconscious.

“Call the team. How fast can I suit up?”

“Not fast enough, Sir.” JARVIS’s voice is detached as ever. Tony nearly yells, but suits up anyway. He sends JARVIS to search for any sign of who would want to kidnap the good doctor and where they would be taking her. He arrives too late, the police and SHIELD are already cleaning up the scene. Clint approaches Tony with Steve on his heels.

“Romanoff’s in pursuit. Apparently Ross’ supervision detail was called off. Which should not have happened. Ever. ” Clint says plainly, anger and guilt flashing across his face before he returns to his professional tone.

“Stark, this is SHIELD’s mess, but Fury’s heading the OP. We are going to get her back.”

“At what cost? Was Dr. Banner even informed that SHIELD had stopped observing the General? The same man who used her as a god damn lab rat!” Tony demands looking at the SHIELD agents who are trying very hard not to acknowledge him. Steve grabs Stark by his arm.

“Iron Man, every second we waste laying blame is a second those bastards have our teammate.” Captain America’s eyes find Stark’s. The non-verbal conversation that follows is heated, but Tony nods and takes off once more. Natasha’s voice break over everyone’s intercom. She’s lost the van, but she has a guess where they are going. A private airfield for the first plane out of the country. Steve curses, and hopes that they are able to stop them before it gets that far.

Beverly isn’t really sure how long she’s been in the little room. The noise is deafening and the Hulk is screaming to be let out. And for once it’s not her holding the Hulk back, something is stopping the Hulk from emerging. For the first time, Dr. Banner finds herself begging for the Hulk to come out; instead of an easy escape, she gets men with needles and noise canceling suits. They hold her down, stimulate, drug, poke, and prod. She screams and roars, and sometimes she sees General Ross standing over her. The Hulk never goes silent and maybe in between sleep and awareness the creature growls out soothing words. Beverly falls into the darkness and she prays that this time she won’t come back.

It takes the Avengers three weeks to find where Ross managed to hide Dr. Banner. It takes another three, for the team to get close enough to attack the facility in an efficient way. Steve, Tony, and Clint pick off pawns, distracting them while Natasha slips inside. Natasha winds her way through the compound, taking out the poor souls who didn’t run out to meet the Avengers. She enters the control room that unlocks Beverly’s door and turns off the sonic devices keeping her from transforming. Natasha glances at the window that overlooks Banner’s cell. Inside the woman is limpy laying her cell, eyes open but staring at nothing. Natasha’s mouth twists, hand hovering over the release. She slams down and suddenly the buzz of sonic chatter dies. Beverly almost immediately becomes the Hulk. The green giant groans as it stands falling like over several times like a newborn colt.

“Hulk, I’m in the next…” Before Romanoff can finish her sentence the Hulk smashes through the wall. Natasha steps back at the feral look in the dangerous green eyes, but the Hulk does nothing except come over and envelopes Natasha in a strange hug. Widow looks at the green walled cone that surrounds her. She reaches out and touches the harshly breathing wall.

“Puny Banner scared.” The words are the softest the Hulk has ever uttered. Black Widow nods sympathetically.

“We are going to get out of here.” The Hulk snorts before standing up properly. After a moment of thought the Hulk crashes through the walls until emerging on the outside. Black Widow follows closely behind, in case the people of the facility decide to shoot at her large friend. The arrival of the Hulk prompts the immediate surrender of the remaining staff. SHIELD agents swarm the area arresting the survivors; the Hulk watches growling and snarling at certain individuals as they are marched by in handcuffs. Barton marks them as top priority for interrogation. The whole process takes a good few hours, the Hulk doesn’t change.

“Hey Jolly Green.” Tony says in greeting. The Hulk grunts but doesn’t really move.

“Where is Banner?” Stark asks while casually sitting down next to the Hulk.

“Not awake. Banner sleep.”

“Well we were planning to fly back home, but you won’t fit into the jet.” Tony’s learned that out right suggesting Banner take over sparks violent response. It was better to imply and wait for the Hulk to figure it out. The Hulk nods in understanding and goes still. After a moment a green forehead scrunches in confusion.

“Puny Banner says no.” Tony whips his head up to look at his large companion.

“Hulk, what does that mean?” 

“No mean no, no Puny Banner. Only Hulk.” Tony sighs, hand going to his ear piece.

“Team meeting at our green friend.” The Hulk snorts at the moniker. Tony pats a large arm.

“Don’t worry Buddy, we’ll get this sorted. Unless you want to be out forever?” The Hulk pauses at the thought.

“Make everyone sad.”

“Only because we can’t have you and Bev at the same time.”

“Banner wanted help, never ask before. Hulk try, couldn’t smash, noise hurt.” The Hulk admits loudly after a few moments of silence. Tony sighs.

“I’m sorry it took us so long to find you two.” The Hulk seems to understand and doesn’t respond again. The team assembles in the few minutes of silence.

“Hulk, where is Banner?” Steve asks as soon as he arrives. The Hulk roars.

“BANNER SAY NO!” The shout rattles the teeth in the Avenger’s gums. Steve lifts his hands in surrender. Tony steps in before anyone else can something to set the Hulk off. 

“Bev is currently sleeping, and refuses to let the Hulk fade back. So we have the Jolly Green Giant until she wakes up. I need help figuring out how we are going to get back to New York.”

“Where are we going to put the Hulk in New York?” Tony scoffs at Clint’s question.

“Puh-lease, I had some floors converted into a Hulk safe space.” Steve nearly rolls his eyes. 

“Hulk, can you sit long enough on the outside of the plane to fly back?”

“Hulk not bird. Hulk run.” Steve shakes his head. The Hulk didn’t have enough awareness to run back without doing major property damage. Tony’s face screws up in thought.

“What if we run back with the Hulk? Keep an eye from the sky, I could probably direct from the suit.” It’s a temporary solution, and hinged on the hope that before they get anywhere too populated the Hulk would transform back to Beverly. The route is planned out carefully, purposefully running the Hulk up and down mountains and jungle areas. It takes two days for the Hulk to lay down and become Banner once more. She sits up, knees pulled up to protect her bared chest. Tony lands next to her.

“Hey Bev, it’s been a while.” She doesn’t smile, her forehead nestles on her knees, her arms wrapped around her legs. Her body falls easily into a sitting fetal position. Tony frowns, but waits with the silent woman. She never looks up from where she’s tucked her face, even when the team arrives she doesn’t move. Natasha grabs the blanket out of Steve’s hands draping it over the shivering woman. A small sniffle comes from under the blanket. Clint looks to Natasha, who gives him a firm nod, before kneeling down in front of Beverly.

“Hiya, Bev. We need to get you to the quinjet. We have clothes waiting for you, how about that?” The spy asks softly, his voice laced with affection. Beverly doesn’t move. Tony makes a sound of annoyance, earning a dangerous look from Romanoff. The genius ignores her, walking loudly up to the huddled woman. He bends down.

“Bed or food?” He asks as he lifts Beverly up, easily keeping the blanket over her. Steve blinks, the scene oddly reminiscent of all those weeks ago in the Tower. Dr. Banner mutters something only Tony can hear before he carries her to the jet. He sets her down on the bed that had been prepared. She rolls away facing the wall. Steve sits down on the foot of the bed, his body slumped, his hands cradling his head in exhaustion. While Clint leans against the opposite wall, his whole body tense as he watches Beverly’s prone form with careful attentiveness. Tony sighs, thoughts focusing on one thing and one thing only: getting everyone home. He gives Beverly one last glance before he stands up and stiffly heads to the cockpit, the faster they are in the air the faster they get Banner back to the Tower. Natasha joins him not moments later, even after all this time Tony still couldn’t get a read on her when situations like this arose.

“She’ll be ok.” Tony says as Black Widow slides into the co-pilot seat, trying to break the tense silence that followed her entrance into the cockpit. She turns her head, her expression deceptively calm.

“No, she won’t, but she’ll learn to live with what she experienced.” The words are weighted with a sense of understanding that roils Tony’s stomach. How many times had SHIELD or the Avengers taken Romanoff’s ability to bounce back for granted? Tony knows first hand that it doesn’t get better. The memories just fades into the background, waiting to pop out when the timing could not be worse. Tony closes his eyes for a moment, getting his bearings back.

“Let’s get our favorite doctor back home.” The rest of the flight goes smoothly and Dr. Banner never once speaks or rolls over to face Steve or Clint. Hawkeye engages Steve with small talk, the words intended to fill up the dead silence in the plane. Seven hours later they finally touch down on the Avengers tower. Beverly doesn’t make any movement or sound when the plane lands. Steve leans over her carefully, assuming she is asleep, and holds back the disconcerting noise as her eyes lock onto his. He bites his lip and then scoops her up into his arms. The blanket slips off her shoulders and Clint pushes of the wall moving forward to rewrap the blanket around her. She nods in acknowledgement (or appreciation, Clint isn’t sure). Steve and Clint wait for their pilots to move out of the cockpit before heading inside. Tony immediately takes off into some unknown part of the house, while Natasha follows them to Dr. Banner’s floor.

“Bath time.” The Russian whispers, easily taking Dr. Banner from Steve. The men watch as they two women disappear behind the door. Clint looks at Captain America before noticing a man with exhaustion and rage.

“Fury?” Hawkeye asks, hoping to get a correct read on the 93-year-old man.

“Fury.” Cap responds voice hard, the tone reminds Clint why so many people believed in Captain America. Steve walks out politely ordering JARVIS to call Tony out of whatever hole he’s hidden in and to go to the briefing room.

“Can you stand Banner?” Natasha asks once the door closes behind them. 

“Maybe?” Beverly replies unsurely. Natasha steps back allowing the biophysicist to put all her weight on her legs. For a moment the doctor stands, but her knees give a dangerous wobble and Banner feels her body heading towards the floor. Natasha is quick and keeps Beverly from smacking onto the heated bathroom floor.

“A for effort?” Natasha offers as she helps balance the doctor. Bev snorts, a sardonic sort of grin creeping onto her face. The bath is surprisingly pain-free, it’s mostly Natasha checking muscle groups as she wipes the dirt off of Beverly.

“Did they let you move at all?” She mutters under her breath, appalled by the amount of muscle atrophy. Banner shook her head.

“I was only moved if they needed me to be sitting up or on my stomach. The device, made it difficult to breathe. I tried crawling out once, but I barely rolled off the bed before I passed out from pain.” Banner mutters, Natasha hums as she carefully situates Beverly onto the toilet seat. The process of drying off is silent until the Black Widow gets to drying Banner’s hair. As soon as her face is hidden, a rattling breath leaves the doctor. Natasha doesn’t stop, she takes extra time drying the doctor’s hair. When she finishes, she kneels in front of Beverly.

“You survived.”

“I always do.” Beverly whispers bitterly. Natasha schools her face carefully as she helps the doctor into bed.

“Welcome home, Dr. Banner.” JARVIS says gently as Beverly settles into the pillows. Natasha sees a soft smile cross the other woman’s face.

“Thank you JARVIS. It’s good to be home.” Natasha sits with her until Beverly falls asleep. Natasha watches the doctor's breathing patterns for a few minutes before quietly exiting the room.

“JARVIS, please alert the closest team member when Dr. Banner wakes up or if she begins to exhibit signs of a nightmare.” She asks as she heads to the elevator.

“Of course Agent Romanoff.” JARVIS agrees easily “Sir has asked that you join him in the briefing room. Director Fury is on the phone.” Natasha nods before entering the elevator. The briefing room is mostly a television room, complete with comfortable chairs and popcorn. However, it’s also one of the securest rooms in the house, with failsafe upon failsafe in case of an attempt to hack into the feed between SHIELD and the Avengers. Currently Director Fury is yelling at them for not checking in or allowing more SHIELD agents into the building.

“With all due respect Director Fury, we weren’t sure how the Hulk or Dr. Banner would react to a situation where they would need to distinguish between foe and ally. The Hulk knows us, it was safer for everyone. Besides, you had free reign of the place once we extracted the Hulk.” Captain America responds voice carefully calm.

“The the following 48 hours then, every major new network across the globe had reports of Iron Man and the Hulk in the jungles of South America. Care to explain that?” Fury demands.

“The Hulk didn’t want to ride on the jet. Do you have a suggestion on how we get the Hulk to do something the Hulk doesn’t want to do?” Steve responds, the words dripping with sarcasm. Fury growls at them, getting ready to fire up another round of accusations when Tony stands up.

“It was a case of the Avengers cleaning up SHIELD’s mess...again. Let’s talk about your mistakes that made this mission possible.” Tony’s voice sharp with ire, “Since when does SHIELD let up on a supervision detail? Particularly one the pertains to Beverly Banner?” The loaded question permeates in the air. Fury glares in response.

“We don’t. Ross had bribed one of our lower level agents to get the paperwork lost. It was never brought to my attention. I apologize that this disrupted Dr. Banner’s life.” Fury admits begrudgingly. Tony’s smile turns into a vicious smirk. Steve tenses knowing whatever is going to happen next he’s going to have to do damage control.

“Well that’s nearly a month and half of Beverly’s life that she can never get back. Oh while we are at it, why hasn’t SHIELD gotten the military’s claim on her removed? Or better yet why the fuck didn’t SHIELD –”

“Stark.” Natasha says sharply, knowing that Iron Man was about to reveal something he knew that Fury didn’t. Tony mouth shuts with a click before he storms out of the room.

“He has a point. SHIELD should have some control over this.” Steve grits out, jaw tense. Fury sighs and doesn’t respond.

“Unless, of course, you wanted something to hold over the doctor, in case she decided to leave.” Clint says. The words hang in the air like poison. Steve’s blue eyes flits back to the image of Fury.

“Agent Barton. While that had been our original intent…” Fury begins in his placating tone.

“You know, the last six months we’ve done everything to make the doctor feel at home. Then you go a do something like this. Her storage of food and emergency packed bag doesn’t seem so ridiculous.” Rogers sneers before he cuts the feed in disgust. He leans on the wall, anger overwhelming him for a moment. Natasha watches her team mates as they regain some modicum of control. After a few moments clears her throat, the two men turn looking at her expectantly.

“Beverly is sleeping again. JARVIS is monitoring her for anything that might cause problems.” Natasha reports. Steve gives her a thankful smile before heading out of the room. Natasha sits gracefully next to Hawkeye.

“When did you and I become Avengers instead of SHIELD agents?” She asks.

“Somewhere between the Chitauri and Beverly’s curry chicken.” Clint answers plainly whilst throwing his arm over his eyes. Romanoff hums in agreement and closes her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. It was interesting to write, the first several chapters were done ins a span of several hours. As always, thank you RustyCopper215 for your never ending patience as we edit this beast of a story!


	3. The Road too Often Traveled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly finds herself among friends once more, but the rules have changed. Chapter has a character dealing with PTSD, please do not read if that will upset you.

Steve finds his feet taking him up the stairs to Beverly’s floor. Each floor is an apartment (a luxury one, in Steve’s opinion, he still has seven rooms that serve no purpose), complete with kitchen and common areas. Beverly has always had an open door policy, not used to having some much space to herself Steve is allowed in, he sits on the couch in the living room. Tony is in the arm chair that Beverly uses to read.

“Pepper is flying in tonight, she wants to help Natasha with Beverly.” Tony says apropos of nothing. Having met through Tony, Pepper and Beverly went from acquaintances to close friends in a matter of months (Tony regrets that sometimes, particularly when he is the victim of their adventures together). Whenever Pepper is in New York, the redhead always takes Beverly out on the town. Hair, nails, clothes, and friendship was the motto Pepper and Beverly had together. It wasn’t unusual when Pepper was in the Tower to see her and Beverly chatting and laughing over a cup of tea. Beverly always walks with a bounce in her step after Pepper comes through. The two women talk all the time on the phone or video chat, much to Tony’s delight and detriment.

“That’s good, Miss Potts will make the Doc feel better.” Steve agrees, wondering how he fell into the small talk trap with Tony Stark.

“She gets people, ya know? Still don’t know what she’s doing with me.” Tony says sardonically, taking a swig of his whiskey. 

“Keeping you alive I imagine. Lord knows you won’t die until that woman has signed off on the appropriate paperwork.” Steve comment makes Tony throw his head back and laugh.

“There is that.” The billionaire agrees. Steve offers a quirky smile.

“Sirs, pardon me, but Agent Romanoff ask that the closest team members be notified if Dr. Banner exhibited signs of nightmare.”

“You’re up, Cap. I don’t do the nightmare thing.” Stark says. Steve is already moving towards the closed door, filing away Tony’s tight voice for another day. Rogers pushes the door open, peeking into the room, sure enough Beverly is tossing and turning. The heart rate monitor is counting her pulse. 150 bpm, still within in the safe zone.

“Dr. Banner,” Steve calls approaching the bed carefully, “Dr. Banner, I need you to wake up.” He laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, Beverly jack knifes, head butting Captain America on her ascent. Steve swears, grabbing his own forehead. Banner hunches over, cursing.

“Fuck. Steve?” She asks. Steve groans.

“Yup, sorry about that.”

“What are you doing in here?”

“JARVIS said you were having a nightmare.”

“Oh.” The sound is soft. Steve sits down properly.

“You have a hard head Doc.”

“It’s come in handy all my life.” She says softly, a sad smile on her face. Steve smiles hands folded in his lap. Beverly looks around the room.

“What time is it?”

“1547, Dr. Banner. May 26, 2013.” Beverly’s eyebrows shoot up.

“I was gone a while.”

“We tried looking for you, Doc. It took us almost a month to find you and another couple of weeks to get into the facility.” Steve tries, Beverly smiles.

“I know. Ross is clever, he didn’t get to be a General by accident. Help me to the bathroom?” Steve easily lifts the woman from the bed, helping her stand. They walk slowly, and Steve leaves waiting for a summons back into the room. Once settled back into the bed Beverly looks at him nervously.

“Can I ask you something Steve?”

“Anything for you, Doc.”

“Um, stay? Just for a little while, I think it’ll be easier for me and the other guy.” Steve smiles brightly. He sits with back on the headboard, a book from Beverly’s shelves and waits out the rest of the day with Beverly at his side.

When Steve doesn’t emerge from Beverly’s room, Stark leaves for his lab to pass the time. The next time he looks up is when Pepper kisses Tony in greeting. The genius pushes away from his lab bench, eyes alight with pleasure. He stands and snags a proper kiss.

“Pep! Did Happy drive you over?” 

“Yes, how’s Beverly?” Pepper asks leading Tony out of the workshop.

“Romanoff says there is some atrophy to muscles. JARVIS is having a physical therapist is being flown in as we speak.” Pepper nods, adding it to the Avengers funding. 

“Have you spoken to her?”

“No, she really hasn’t talked with anyone except Widow and Cap. She was out of it when we finally got her on the plane.” Pepper nods again turning to hug Tony.

“I’m glad she’s alive.” Tony doesn’t say anything. He knew that whatever Ross did wouldn’t kill Dr. Banner. It was the result of the experimentation that was the worry and how it could affect Beverly’s quality of life.

“I’m glad you’re here Pep. For me and Bev.” Pepper smiles offering a soft kiss on the lips.

“I’m going to go check on Beverly. See if she needs anything.” Pepper heads down to the familiar floor. She and Beverly would spend hours talking to one another about pretty much everything, from childhood to avenging, Pepper felt she had a kindred spirit in the scientist. Pepper opens the bedroom door and nearly shouts in surprise. On the bed was Captain America curled up around what Pepper could only assume is Beverly. She backs out of the room and shuts the door quietly.

“That’s new.” She mutters to herself before heading into the kitchen. She sets out the crock pot, pulling ingredients out from the still stocked fridge. Food for when the two woke up, also a task to distract Pepper from jumping to conclusions without more input from the involved parties. 

Steve hears Pepper open the door, but didn’t move. He didn’t want to disturb the person he had unintentionally latched onto while sleeping. He glances down at a sleeping Beverly. Her mouth open slightly, and her nose whistling. Slowly Steve reaches his left hand up and brushes hair away from the doctor’s face. She isn’t peaceful in her sleep, her eyes tightly shut as if trying to block out her dreams. Her curly hair was sprinkled with gray, her hands were clenched around Steve’s shirt. Steve sat still just watching until her stomach made a voracious sound. Steve sighed.

“Beverly.” He whispers, shifting slightly hoping it would give her an easier awakening. She groans, face naturally falling onto his chest. She nuzzles forward, murmuring to herself. Steve smiles at the gentle behavior.

“I can smell food. Come on, I know you are hungry.” Steve cajoles, Beverly huffs.

“Warm.”

“The Commandos always said I was a good heater. They would take turns on who got to sleep next to me when we were on missions.”

“Excess energy from your metabolism. Whatever your body doesn’t use gets converted to heat.” She explains as she sits up and stretches like a cat, almost immediately she hisses curling back up. Steve pauses, his hands stuck in mid air unsure of where to go that would be helpful. She waves him off, an amused grin on her face. Steve returns the grin before he slides out from the blanket that had managed to wrap around his waist. Beverly watches him quietly as he walks around the bed to assist her in standing. Rogers easily helps her stand and walks with her out to the main room. Beverly lets out a shout of surprise when she sees the red head who is sitting at the table. Pepper looks up from papers organized on the table, a wide smile on her face.

“Ah, I was wondering if you were going to come out. I made beef-tomato stew, it’s in the crockpot.” Pepper says in a way of greeting.

“Pepper? You flew in?” Beverly asks excitedly, as Steve helps her into a chair. Steve turns to Pepper giving her a shy hello before he goes about dishing up dinner. Beverly and Pepper hug across the table. They stay there for a moment before releasing one another.

“Of course I flew in! I can get work done here as easily as I can in Malibu. Besides I’ve missed you.” Pepper says placing her hand on Beverly’s. The other woman smiles sadly responding with a weak squeeze.

“Sorry, I never intended to be gone that long.”

“I know, so I thought I could help you with the more intimate parts of daily routine.” Pepper offers a wink, which makes Beverly laughs. Steve sets a bowl in front of Beverly.

“Thanks Steve.” Steve smiles, he sits down directly beside her. Pepper quirks an eyebrow at the two across from her.

“So you two... in bed. Do I need to get JARVIS to talk to you two about modern contraception?” Pepper has never been one to beat around the bush.

“Uh, no?” Beverly says looking up, her eyes pulled into a confused stare. Steve blinks in surprise, but manages to keep the blush off his cheeks.

“Uh, well. Tony… Well, he already made JARVIS do that.” Steve whispers. Pepper nods sagely.

“He would do that. If you have questions you can always ask.”

“Jesus Pepper, he’s a grown man. He’s been to war.” Beverly says around her food. She was clearly more interested in feeding the bottomless pit known as her stomach than talking about sex. Pepper shrugs.

“Rules of bed play have changed.”

“Not really.” Steve mutters, doing his best to concentrate on his stew. Beverly snorts.

“Ancient Greeks have vases dedicated to the depiction of foreplay, modern era sexual behavior isn’t anything new.” Beverly states plainly. Pepper thinks it over nodding to Beverly. Steve had always wondered how Tony had managed to score a woman such as Pepper. Now he understood, they were perfect for one another.

“So Miss Potts,” Steve says hoping to steer the conversation away from anything remotely to do with sex “how long are you here for?”

“I can probably manage about a month before the board starts sending Tony nasty notes about distracting me.”

“They wouldn’t send them to you?” Steve asks confused. Beverly laughs.

“You ever seen anyone tell Pepper where she ought to be? The board tried that once, it didn’t go so well.” Pepper takes a sip of her tea, grabbing at her paperwork again.

“Apparently old rich men are extremely attached to their end of the year bonuses.” Steve laughs, Pepper Potts is definitely Tony’s match.

The rest of the dinner goes smoothly, it’s mostly Pepper and Beverly discussing things that Steve doesn’t really understand. The women discuss aspects of business, life, and a new polymer that Beverly is attempting to fix for R&D. Pepper easily weaves careful conversation that doesn’t mention the last six weeks Beverly endured. Pepper’s focus on the idea of normality seems to be getting Beverly back into a more relaxed state of mind. Steve is happy to listen to them, it’s painfully obvious Pepper brings the Doc relief. After an hour or two the conversation slows down as Beverly begins to blink sleepily, yawns interrupting her words.

Pepper pauses in her story and offers to help Beverly in the shower. Steve stands and become Beverly’s crutch as they slowly make their way to the bathroom. He knows that Tony had chairs that came out of the wall in the shower and sure enough JARVIS has already activated Beverly’s chair. The risk of any of them falling the shower was quite high post mission. He gets her settled, then turns to leave.

“Steve?” Beverly asks softly, he turns back. She wrings her hands nervously, he waits.

“Uh well, if I have another nightmare, can JARVIS wake you?” Steve can’t control the smile that breaks out of his lips.

“Yes, of course. Anything for you, Doc.”

“So you’ve said.” Beverly tells him, a hint of amusement underlying the sentence. Steve gives her a bright smile before turning to leave. Pepper waves goodbye as Captain America exits the bathroom.

“If you two actually go public, I need at least 24 hours. Otherwise I can’t help you with the press.” Pepper says seriously as she helps strip Beverly. JARVIS turns the water on and to the right temperature.

“Steve isn’t interested. I’m his team mate. He’d do the same thing for Tony or Natasha. Not sure if he could pin Barton down long enough to actually help.” Beverly responds trying not to fall asleep in the warm water. Pepper laughs, but the sound isn’t cruel.

“Bev, he looks at you the way Tony looks at me when he thinks I’m not paying attention. He’s head over heels.” Beverly groans.

“Don’t tell me that. I don’t want to know that.”

“Why not? You and the Captain would be good together.” Beverly makes a defeated sound.

“I can’t be with anyone Pep. Ever. It would never work out. The best case scenario he breaks up with me for being a workaholic and worst case…the other guy makes an appearance. Not really a good way to build a relationship.” Pepper huffs in annoyance.

“I think if anyone understood your quirks and limits, it would be an Avenger. Barton’s out, Natasha isn’t interested in anyone unless they are a target, Thor’s off in space.”

“I’ll have Tony.” Beverly jokes, Pepper laughs.

“Take him, but good luck. He drives me to drink.” Beverly groans at the thought of her attempting romantic gestures towards the Stark heir.

“He would be so bad for my control. I would probably let the other guy kill him on principle.” Pepper laughs, the sound has a fond quality.

“How are you and Iron Man?”

“As well as can be expected. Tony he is… intense. Lately he’s been shiftier than usual, it makes me wonder what he’s hiding.”

“That’s just Tony, shifty and erratic, but he never could hide anything from you.” Pepper nods in agreement, handing Beverly a towel to dry off with. The CEO of Stark Industries helps the scientist dress, and into bed.

“Can I help with anything else?” Pepper asks lingering at the door. Beverly shakes her head.

“No, thank you for everything. Good night!” Pepper returns the parting words and shuts the door. Beverly flops down as gingerly as she can. All the movement has made her muscles sore. After not moving, even with Hulk healing her body aches. Her bed feels uncomfortably big, she rolls into her usual position. Her brain runs through the day’s interactions with Steve. She sighs sadly.

“I didn’t want to know.”

Steve finds that trying to sleep after sleeping most of the day away isn’t easy. He ends up pulling out his colored pencils and sketch pad. The hours fly by after that, he looks up and realizes it’s three in morning. He blinks at the glaringly bright numbers. He sets his art supplies aside hoping he’s been awake long enough he’ll fall asleep quickly. He shuts his eyes and in that second JARVIS calls his name.

“Excuse me Captain Rogers, Dr. Banner asked that if she had another nightmare I would contact you.” Steve’s feet are moving toward his door and out of his floor before his brain catches up. It only takes a few minutes to get down to Beverly’s apartment, but in the time it takes to get to her bedroom her nightmare has escalated. He hears her screaming and the beeping warning that her heart rate is too fast. Steve hits the door opening and taking it off its hinges.

“Dr. Banner! Dr. Banner, Dr. Bann... Beverly! Beverly You need to wake up!” He shouts over the hoarse screams. He approaches the woman, grabbing a shoulder and shaking it. The screaming stops. It’s immediately followed by crying. Steve makes soft hushing sounds.

“It’s ok, Beverly. You’re safe. I got you.” He whispers, his ears listening as the heart rate monitor returns to normal. Beverly sucks in air rapidly, very obviously trying to calm herself. The heart monitor stops wailing its warning. Steve waits, running a hand over her hair while she comes more into her senses.

“Oh god.” She whimpers pulling the sheets higher. Steve catches the smell – urine.

“Hey, Hey. It’s fine. It’s an easy fix, JARVIS will have the house bots clean it up.” Steve looks to the ceiling hoping that JARVIS picked up on the subtle request.

“They have already been alerted. Perhaps, Captain Rogers, you should help Dr. Banner clean off. Or shall I wake Agent Romanoff?”

“No!” Beverly shouts violently, before recoiling.

“No, JARVIS it’s fine, I can do it.” Steve says. He looks back at Beverly who has all but crawled under the sheets.

“Hey Doc, the bots are going to be here any second. Why don’t I help you clean off?” Steve suggests as he tugs at the blanket. Beverly resists for a moment before relinquishing hold on the sheets. Steve helps her stand and they walk to the bathroom together. The shower chair is still sitting in the tub. He helps Beverly carefully into the chair.

“I’m gonna help you get undressed. Is that alright with you?” Steve asks. Beverly looks at him through the tears gathered in her eye.

“You’ve seen me naked before, all of New York has.” Steve laughs though he’s not sure if he’s amused or sadden by that fact.

“Still it’s not too late to get Romanoff.” Beverly shakes her head. Steve gets her sullied clothes off easily enough. He turns to throw them in the laundry shoot. He hears the water turn on.

“I’m going to grab you some new pajamas. I’ll be right back.” He announces while heading out of the room. He finds that the Doc’s dressers are much like her, organized. He finds new underwear and sleepwear without much difficulty. He hears her in the bathroom quietly crying. Steve comes back in setting the clothes on the counter. He walks over to Beverly, who is hiding her face in her elbow as she sobs.

“I’m so sorry, Steve.” She whispers almost gagging on the water and her sobs. Steve frowns.

“It’s ok, I don’t mind. I told you anything, Doc. I meant it.” Steve says seriously before taking a washing cloth a carefully wiping down her legs. He uses the action as a way of calming himself down as well. Deep breaths and methodical motions bring his heart rate down. He hands the now sniffling doctor the wash cloth. He turns giving her privacy to finish cleaning herself. He grabs a towel when the water shuts off. He wraps her up in the huge fluffy towel. 

“I’m so sorry you have to do this.” Beverly repeats over and over again as he dries and helps dress her. Steve ignores the apologies, instead reminding her he is happy to help. 

“Beverly, you are not the first person I needed to take care of like this. Bucky… Well, Hydra did a number on him, experimenting when he was a POW. He would wake up screaming, just like you. It doesn’t bother me, I am happy to help. I want to help, there is no where I’d rather be than putting you to bed.” Beverly lets out a wet laugh at the double ontronra. Steve smiles, that one always made Bucky laugh as well.

“Do you want me to stay?” Steve asks once the doctor is settled into a refreshed bed. She nods, scooting over. Steve slides between the sheets. Beverly immediately curls up with her head resting on his chest. She falls asleep within minutes. Steve’s last thought before sleep claims him as well, is he could get used to sleeping like this.

Beverly wakes up slowly. She can feel another person breathing next to her, but it isn’t any cause for alarm. Her brains knows she’d wake up next to someone. An arm is wrapped around her middle and the body curves comfortably around hers. She blinks awake, and catches sight of familiar blonde hair and blue eyes. Beverly yawns, rubbing her eyes. The sun isn’t more than a gold streak on the horizon, which means she’s only been asleep for a few hours.

“Good morning, Doc.” Rogers says softly. Beverly lets her eyes flutter closed again.

“Not yet, too sore.” She mutters, burrowing into the crevice created by covers and Steve’s body. He chuckles in response, turning so she’s nestled into his side. Beverly has no intention of moving ever again. She falls back to sleep. Steve looks down at the woman he was currently sharing body heat with. The sun starts creeping into the bed with them and Steve falls into a light doze.

“Dr. Banner, Sir is asking for entrance to your apartments. The physical therapist has arrived.” JARVIS’s voice breaks over the sleeping pair. Steve groans, the last thing he wants is Tony to tease either of them. Beverly stretches and sits up, offering a soft smile to Steve.

“JARVIS, tell Stark he’s only allowed in if he’s bringing breakfast.”

“Of course, Dr. Banner.” JARVIS agrees. Steve stands offering his help to get Beverley to the bathroom. He helps her dress. They don’t speak, but it isn’t uncomfortable silence between them. Steve is her crutch as Beverly makes her way to her kitchen table.

“Bev, Cap! Pepper ordered breakfast for the Tower!” Tony announces, he comes over to them and scoops Beverly up into his arms. Beverly shrieks in surprise.

“God Damn it, Tony!” She yelps, her legs weakly flailing in protest as Tony bypasses the table and heads straight for the couch. Steve stares for a moment wondering if he should intervene, but the smile on the good doctor’s face tells him all is well.

“Some countries in the world could be fed with less.” Beverly snarks at Tony, as he wraps her in a blanket and begins to dish her up a plate. Tony ignores her. In the time it took Beverly to get dressed Tony had managed to set up a veritable buffet of breakfast foods. Even with Steve eating with them there would still be leftovers.

“First day of getting your muscles back into working order. Gotta eat right.” Beverly offers an annoyed huff as cutlery and a plate of food is placed onto her lap. Steve comes in with coffee for himself and Beverly. 

“Morning, Stark.”

“Mornin’ Cap.” Tony says back, which surprises Steve. Tony normally doesn’t answer back. Beverly sighs.

“Can you at least pretend you didn’t get laid last night?” The doctor asks, annoyed at the puppy like behavior. The question causes Steve to whip his head to look at Tony while Stark starts laughing. Beverly grabs a piece of onion and throws it at Tony. Her arm isn’t strong enough to get the piece very far. No one comments that it falls woefully short of her intended target. Halfway through breakfast, Steve realizes that Tony hasn’t said word about the very obvious fact that he and Dr. Banner spent the night together. It strikes him as odd, but the Captain hopes that Tony will leave it alone. He and Tony help Beverly out of the apartment into one of the many rooms in the Tower dedicated to health and physical recovery. The therapist, Dr. Feldman, asks both men to leave. Steve follows Tony out. Stark turns and pins Steve with his eyes.

“I don’t know what you think you are doing, but whatever it is, it better be serious.” He says, the playfulness fallen aside. The Captain can see the ruthless man that is also apart of Tony’s personality.

“Stark, look…”

“No, this is the shovel talk, so shut your mouth and listen.” Tony says his voice taking on a serious quality Steve’s never heard. Once Stark sees he has the super soldier's attention he continues.

“Beverly doesn't have anyone else in the world but us. This place is the only place she gets to call home. Probably the only place in the world that will ever be safe for her. You fuck up whatever you two are playing at and it’s you who will get the boot. And then I will bury you in the ground. Do I make myself clear?” Tony demands. Steve sighs.

“Yeah, Stark I get it.” Tony stares at Rogers for a moment before turning on his heel.

“JARVIS,” Steve says after Tony is in the elevator for a few moments, “Define: shovel talk.” Steve listens to JARVIS rattle off urban dictionary as he enters the elevator.

Beverly watches the men go back out the hallway. She turns to the therapist who has pointedly pushed a wheelchair in front of her seat. Beverly eyes the contraption distastefully.  
“I am strong, but I not Iron man or Captain America. I will not be carrying you today.” Dr. Feldman says plainly. Beverly concedes the point, slipping into the chair with wheels. The therapist runs through his plan to test her strength.

“I will not lie to you Dr. Banner. Physical therapy is not comfortable, it can be downright painful. If you work at it and do as I ask outside our sessions, I will not have to hurt you as much. Can we make a deal?” Beverly agrees.

“Ms. Potts informed you of emergency procedures, in case something goes...wrong?” Beverly asks. The Doctor nods sharply, a brief flash of fear crossing his eyes before disappearing under professionalism.

“Let’s get started.” Dr. Feldman says, pushing Beverly over to a table.

Steve finds himself antsy. He used his time to look up basic PT procedures. All he finds are complaints of how painful it is. He watches videos of people screaming, crying, and ultimately learning to walk again. Steve tries not to think of Beverly in more pain. Barton comes stomping in, after ten minutes of Steve terrifying himself with videos. He takes one look at Steve and comes noisily over.

“Stevey! We are going out!” Clint says throwing shoes at the blonde. Steve catches them easily eyeing Clint as though he’s lost his mind.

“Why? Where do we need to go?” Clint glares at him for the question.

“Did I say ask questions? Put your shoes on Soldier! We are going out.” Steve sighs, he knows better than to resist Clint’s random moods. He ties his shoes and goes out of the Tower (secret back way, never the front where the groupies camp out). Clint leads the way as they wander through the streets of New York City. Clint stops at random stores, he picks things up but doesn’t buy. Every item seems to reminds him of a story. Steve half listens to the wild tales of two brothers in a circus, he just lets the other man lead him around. Before Steve can think about it, they are back at the Tower. Steve glances at the clock in the elevator. Two hours on the dot, which means Beverly is finishing her therapy.

“Thanks Barton.”

“No problem, man.” Clint says clapping the Captain on the shoulder before getting off at the common floor. Steve heads to the medical floor. He catches the therapist at the door.

“How did she do today?”

“Better than expected.” Dr. Feldman replies. Steve nods passing into the room.

“Hey, Doc.” Steve says in greeting. Beverly smiles, it’s strained.

“Hey.”

“Dr. Banner, Agent Romanoff informs me your bath is ready.” JARVIS’s voice announces.

“Thanks.” Beverly replies. Steve bends down easily lifting Beverly into his arms.

“The PT said you were doing better than expected.”

“Did he also mention I vomited twice?” Beverly asks, head resting on Steve’s shoulder. Steve hums, his eyes tight with concern.

“I got through all the exercises. My heart never got above 180. It wasn’t the worst thing that’s happened to me.” Beverly says honestly.

“That, somehow, isn’t very comforting.” Steve informs her as he steps off the elevator.

“Most of my life has been the opposite of comforting.” Beverly reminds him. Steve huffs, pushing doors open with his foot. Natasha meets them outside the bedroom. She lets Steve pass he sets his cargo on the toilet seat.

“See you in a bit?” Beverly asks, Steve nods. Then on reflexive affection he presses a kiss to her cheek. 

“Of course.” He agrees warmly then leaves. It takes him a few moments away from the Doctor to realize that he had kissed her.

“Oh.” He says to himself sitting on the couch. Now he has to wait for the fallout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun DUN DUUUNN! Hahaha I thought it was a cute ending. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! See you next chapter. Thanks RustyCopper215, you beautiful editor you.


	4. Accidents and Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't the life adventure Beverly had planned to go on...

Natasha enters the bathroom to see Beverly touching her cheek. The spy raises an eyebrow, Banner shrugs.

“Not everyday a lady like me gets a kiss from Captain America.” Widow rolls her eyes as she methodically strips the doctor.

“Please. If you gave him the go ahead, he’d be doing more than kissing you.”

“I’m way too old for him, it's more than a ten years difference. And I have...the other guy.” Beverly points out lamely, suddenly feeling her 38 years of age. Natasha stares the other woman down. Beverly pointedly pretends she doesn't understand the look she is receiving.

“Beverly, how much do you weigh?” Natasha asks, suddenly changing the subject.

“Uh, Dr. Feldman said I’m sitting at 137.”

“And where were you before?” The spy’s voice has a curious lilt, it’s edging close to fear.

“That’s the weird thing, I was probably closer to 130. With the muscle atrophy I should be under 130, way under. Once I can get back into the lab I can run some tests, I suspect it has something to do with my strange biology.” Natasha hums, her eyes calculating. Whatever she was concerned with slips behind her mask and Beverly knows there is no hope of retrieval. Beverly doesn’t worry too much about it, instead she enjoys her medically prescribed bath. The timer goes off and Beverly is helped into clothes. Natasha helps wrangle Banner’s hair into it’s usually low ponytail. Natasha acts as support for Beverly so she can walk out into the living room, where Steve has been joined by the other residents of the Tower. Some movie is on, but most of the entertainment is coming from Clint and Tony talking about why the movie is a terrible movie.

“Oh thank god. Now we can change it to something else.” Pepper exclaims as she forcibly scoots Tony onto the floor. The genius protests until Pepper starts to massage his shoulders.

“See Tony? Floor good.” Pepper says to the practically purring genius. Natasha assists as Beverly sit slowly onto the couch. Beverly whines through the process her worked muscles protesting any form of movement. Once she settles into the cushion, Steve shyly drapes his arm over the scientist’s shoulder. Beverly takes the opportunity to lean against the super soldier, her head comfortably pillowed in his shoulder. JARVIS puts on Shawshank Redemption and Beverly promptly falls asleep.

Steve makes a good show of watching the movie, everyone keeps telling him it's a classic. But with Beverly tucked up on his side, all he wants to do was send everyone away and carry her to bed. The doctor doesn't stir once even when Clint begins to throw popcorn at Natasha (this earns Hawkeye a rather deadly stare from said redhead which he ignores). Tony and Pepper talk to one another in low voices. Steve knows it's about business, but most of what they talk about goes right over his head. The movie ends a little after twelve thirty, Pepper ushers the Avengers out of the apartment with the promise of food.

"Let JARVIS know if you need anything." Pepper says warmly before shutting the floor entrance. Steve settles in glad he brought his book with him. He carefully picks it up and begins reading. An hour passes before Beverly shows any sign of waking up. She yawns, stretching her body then whining loudly.

“Ow, god damn it.” She growls. Steve looks down at her.

“The therapist really worked you over.”

“It’s good, but god damn it, I’m sore. He also gave a list of exercises to do tonight.” Beverly says, her fingers tapping rhythmically on her thigh. Steve nods, making a mental note to remind her. Beverly makes no motion to get up, she adjusts herself tucking her legs up under her. Steve is always impressed with her ability to make herself small.

“I feel so useless. All I seem to do is sleep and eat, and even then I can’t seem to shake the sleep from my bones.” Beverly complains after a few moments of silence.  
“It’s probably a good thing. Your body is recovering.”

“That’s the other thing, I typically heal at the rate you do. Maybe slightly slower. I should be further in my recovery than this.” Steve frowns, he had never had atrophy to his muscles, but he’d pulled many of his ligaments. It usually took a week to get back on his feet.

“Have you thought that it might be the type of injury? Muscle atrophy isn’t necessarily damage, more lack of use?” Steve suggests, Beverly bobs her head in thought.

“Look at you, making hypotheses, Tony and I will make a scientist out of you yet.” Beverly teases poking the soldier in ribs. Steve makes a show of flinching away.

“Is that what you and Tony do? I thought, with all the explosions, you two were attempting to rid yourselves of eyebrows.” Beverly wiggles hers mockingly.

“Come on, Steve. I need the bathroom.” She announces scooting as best she could to the edge of the couch. Steve stands pulling her up with him. Banner groans as her muscles cry out in protest. Steve waits, keeping her upright as she adjusts to standing.

“Thanks.” She whispers as they slowly begin to move towards the bathroom. Steve hums in response.

“Anything for you, Doc.”

“So you keep saying.” She whispers, there is a tone of fondness to her voice. Steve helps in and out of the ensuite bathroom. On the way out of the bedroom, Beverly pulls her hand written notes off her desk as they pass by.

“I’m going to work for a bit. You can go to the gym, I know you haven’t gone in a few days.” Steve nods. He sets her comfortably on her arm chair.

“Let one of us know if you want to get up. Do you want JARVIS to get me if you fall asleep?” Steve asks gently. Beverly chews lightly on her lip.

“If it wouldn’t bother you.”

“Not at all, Doc. JARVIS did you get that?” 

“Yes, Captain Rogers. I’ll monitor the doctor while you are away.” JARVIS agrees cooly. Steve nods, and heads up to his floor to grab clothes. He steps into the gym and takes stock of his mental and physical state. He’s tense, but not overwhelming so. He works through his routine methodically. He doesn't zone out (his normal state for work out), he keeps an ear ou for JARVIS’ voice in case he is needed. What he was not expecting during his workout is a klaxon sounding off.

“Medical emergency, Dr. Banner has lost consciousness.” JARVIS voice announces, oddly frantic. Steve turns and bounds up the stairs. His mind panics but his feet remain steady as he nearly trips into Beverly’s apartment. Dr. Feldman is already on the floor next to the prone body, with a terrified Pepper standing the corner. Steve freezes, Beverly is convulsing on her side, drooling, eyes rolled up into her head. Steve goes for Beverly, but a strong hand catches his shoulder.

“Wait, the doctor is her best bet.” Tony orders, his voice wobbling with worry. Steve goes to stand next to Pepper. She has a hand over her mouth and tears in her eyes.The convulsions peter out, and the room falls eerily silent.

“Dr. Banner, can you hear me?” The doctor asks as he checks her pulse. “Dr. Banner you’ve had a seizure. If you can hear me please move your legs.” There’s a moment where no one in the room breathes, Beverly’s foot jerks, and she curls up. Steve dashes over kneeling down.

“Hey Doc. You’re doing your damnedest to scare everyone.” Steve whispers, kissing her sweat soaked hair. Beverly doesn’t respond, she just breaths. Her body goes lax, Steve makes a horrified sound.

“It’s fine, Captain Rogers. Her body has gone through quite a shock.” Feldman says before anyone else in the room could too worked up.

“JARVIS, full body scan, what caused the seizure?” Tony demands. Pepper has a hand in front of her mouth, tears lingering on the edge of her eyes. After a few moments JARVIS’ voice comes online.

“I believe I have found the cause for Dr. Banner’s seizure.”

“Well?” Steve asks confused as to why JARVIS simply didn’t state the cause.

“According to my privacy protocols, I can not disclose that information without Dr. Banner’s permission.” JARVIS says. Tony slams his hand on the wall making Pepper jump.

“Dr. Banner is unable to make medical decisions, who is her emergency medical contact?” Tony snaps.

“You, Sir.” JARVIS chimes.

“Great, what caused the seizure, JARVIS?” Tony demands.

“Dr. Banner is pregnant. Due to age and medical history it is likely she has eclampsia. This can be confirmed by certain tests, shall I have the medical bay prepare for them?” Pepper gasps. Steve eyes find Beverly stomach, hands seeking out the woman’s hands.

“JARVIS, alert the rest of the team. There is a meeting in the living room in ten minutes. Get Fury on the line, I don’t care what he’s doing, he better be on a screen in the living room when this meeting starts.” Tony orders. Steve tries not to get angry at the cold voice. He knows that Tony is compartmentalizing.  
“Tony, I’m not leaving Beverly.” Rogers says plainly. Tony doesn’t even bat an eye.

“Did I say you could leave her? You stay with her Rogers.” Tony snarks. The bots roll in a gurney, Steve easily lifts Beverly’s body onto the rolling bed. He follows the physical therapist. They are met by the Stark Industries’ on call emergency doctor (Dr. Rose? Or was it Dr. Reema?). She looks harried, immediately ordering IVs and regulating the physical therapist to an assistant. Steve stands up by Beverly’s head and lets them work. He just stands guard, softly patting her wild hair.

“What did they do to you Doc?” He asks softly.

Tony replays the footage taken on JARVIS’ security network. The announcement of Beverly’s pregnancy has the team fall silent.

“That’s not possible.” Fury says after a moment “Dr. Banner, herself said that the gamma radiation would have destroyed any chance of reproduction.”

“Well that’s obviously not the case.” Barton says plainly.

“Look the issue isn’t whether or not this is possible. Impossible took a flying leap out the window when a Norse god opened a wormhole in space and let aliens loose in New York.” Tony growls, “And you Director Fury, are here as a courtesy to your organization. So I’m going to ask you this once, and if you don’t answer truthfully we are going to start having problems. Did your organization know that General Ross was experimenting with the possibility of forced pregnancy?” Fury sighs.

“There was never any evidence that he had gotten far enough to implement…” Fury starts.

“But it was a possibility?” Natasha asks her face twisted into something only described as horror. 

“Of course, but Dr. Banner was very thorough in her notes about her own fertility. All fertility tests came up negative, Banner marked herself sterile. Something General Ross knew.” Fury states, his face twisted in a grimace.

“Fury, I want everything from Ross’s compound. I don’t care if you aren’t done. If it’s not in my possession in 20 minutes, I will come into your systems and I will not be careful about what I take.” With that the video feed of the SHIELD director cuts off. Tony sits down next to Pepper.

“JARVIS, set a timer, I want to know if Director Fury makes my deadline.” Tony barks, before leaning back onto the couch. The silence sits over the Avengers. Romanoff speaks first.

“Well, we aren’t getting anything done sitting here. I’m going to call some old contacts, see if there are any experts who could have had a hand in this.” With that the spy gracefully walks out of the room, Clint follows her after a few moments of silence. Then it’s just Tony and Pepper.

“Is this the normal level of panic for the Avengers?” She asks, Tony snorts.

“Nope,” He says popping his p “we are so beyond panic. We are at defcon three.” Pepper lets out a wet laugh.

“It’s so sad. Beverly told me she always wanted children, before the Hulk. You should see her with kids, she adores taking care of them. But to get pregnant in a lab somewhere, without her knowledge…” Pepper trails off, blinking the tears out of her eyes. Tony wraps an arm around his CEO pulling her close to him. He closes his eyes, waiting for an alert from the Doctor or JARVIS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter because the next part has to be done in one big chunk, more will explained about what is going on. Thanks for reading, and thank you RustyCopper215 for putting up with pre-coffee self whist editing.


	5. Survival is Optional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly discovers the truth of her condition. Coping with her new found knowledge is harder than expected.

Beverly comes back to consciousness, but her focus doesn’t return. Her eyes blink open but they don’t focus. Her vision is immediately filled with a Steve shaped blur. She groans reaching out, then realizes her arm is hooked into an IV. She let’s out a sharp sound.

“No, the radiation..!” She manages before Steve quiets her.

“Tony has this room rigged for your blood problem. It’s safe in this room.” He promises, decidedly not mentioning the decontamination chambers that made up the exits. Beverly quiets down.

“I was working on the SI polymer, I had music going. Then I was on the floor?” She asks, her eyes still not totally clearing.

“You had a seizure, Doc.” Beverly jerks, attempting to sit up. Steve lays a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Oh god, what did the other guy do?” She asks, fear in her voice. 

“Beverly, the Hulk didn’t come out. It was all you.”

“What? What do you mean? I was incapacitated, the Hulk should have appeared.” Steve bites his lip.

“Steve, what aren’t you telling me?”

“JARVIS did a scan. The results were surprising. Beverly, you’re pregnant.”

“What?” Beverly demands her voice switching into deep shock and anger. Her eyes flash with something Steve never seen up close. Her eyes are a glowing green.

“The doctor thinks you have eclampsia, it’s a…”

“I know what eclampsia is Rogers. What I want to know is how you all think I’m pregnant? That’s not possible.” The words are growled out. Steve realizes that the anger is a reaction to something else––fear.

“Beverly, you need to calm down.” He says softly. 

“Calm down? You want me to calm down?” She asks in the slow dangerous voice, Steve immediately recognizes. Steve holds his hands up in surrender. The opening of the doors interrupts the staring match.

“Rookie mistake, Cap.” Tony’s voice breaks over the tension in the room.

“Stark.” Steve says in relief. Beverly turns her green eyes onto the billionaire. Tony doesn’t even flinch.

“Never tell angry people to calm down, Rogers. Usually that’s when the shooting begins.” Tony’s tone is playful, but his eyes are narrowed. Steve realizes that the man is multitasking mentally.

“What did you find out?” Steve asks guessing what Tony could be thinking about.

“Operation: Assembly Line, I shit you not that was the name it was given. It’s the reason Beverly was nabbed in broad daylight. Ross found a way to reproduce his super serum project. Literal reproduction.” Tony says hand throwing up the files onto the ever present holoscreens. Beverly sorts over a few, then gasps.

“Oh my god. This is joke. Tony, tell me this isn’t fucking real.” Steve frowns at the horrified sound in her voice. Tony, however, snorts.

“Nope not a joke and very real. That idiot got his hands on the only sample of that.”

“Sample of what?’ Steve asks annoyed that the conversation didn’t include him on the big secret.

“The only swimmers that were able to withstand the level of gamma radiation in Bev’s body and extremely long freezer storage. Yours.” Tony says bluntly.

“That’s not funny, Stark.” Steve all but snarls.

“No one’s laughing.” Tony replys gravely. Beverly quietly moves the digital document so Steve can read it. He reads the clinical notes until he hits his service number and name. His heart falls out from his chest into his stomach. He looks at Beverly, who is stony faced and distinctly not making eye contact. He’s seen her in many different states of emotion, but never totally shut down. 

“The question is now what is what Dr. Banner wants to do now.” Dr. Reema interrupts. She comes over taking note of vitals.

“With such early onset eclampsia I would recommend termination, but with your blood problem...” The doctor says plainly.

“Termination isn’t possible. The...other guy won’t allow it. The Hulk’s been so quiet, now I know why. The focus is shifted for one purpose.” Beverly whispers her eyes their normal color. The doctor fiddles with her IV before leaving again. Steve turns his head in question at her previous statement.

“Normally the Hulk and I are fighting for control. It’s a constant argument, give and take. Since Harlem it’s been more of compromise, but one with constant negotiation. But since my return there’s been only radio silence, like the thing inside is distracted. I’ll bet all my money the attention has gone towards the fetus. Trying to remove it would be detrimental to everyone.” Beverly explains detachedly. 

“Do you want to terminate?” Steve asks, almost horrified for the answer. Beverly shuts her eyes.

“How could I be a mother, with my life? Running, hiding, losing control? That’s no life for anyone, but it’s not a matter choice now. This baby is going to be born. General Ross was counting on it.” She whispers.

“That’s not what I asked.” Steve whispers. Beverly shuts her eyes.

“What do you want me to say Steve? Yes, I would terminate. No child deserves to be raised by a Banner.” Tony glances sharply at Beverly, which in turns makes Steve nervous as what sort of landmine he inadvertently stepped on. Stark’s eyes are narrowed with calculations. Beverly hides her face in her hands. 

“You aren’t that kind of person, Bev. You’re the only person I know too afraid to fight because you might hurt the bad guys.” Tony says softly. Beverly doesn’t respond only flops down with a defeated sigh, she pointedly rolls her body onto her side facing away from both men. Steve lets out a deep sigh. A whoosh of the door signals another person, Pepper.

“Alright gentlemen enough visiting, I was asked by the doctors to give Beverly a sponge bath.” Pepper says bluntly pointing very firmly towards the decontamination chamber. Steve and Tony reluctantly walk out of the room. Steve watches Beverly from behind the airtight doors, his eyes filled with longing. Pepper waits until they are behind the secondary lead doors and out of sight. She approaches the bed. Banner rolls over slowly, her face twisted with frustration.

“Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve this.” Beverly murmurs softly. 

“Nothing. Nothing other than being a brilliant scientist with incredible power.” Pepper states firmly. Banner lets out a sad little laugh.

“It’s worse, knowing the baby will also be Steve’s. I feel like they violated him as much as they did me.” Pepper freezes.

“Captain America is the father?”

“Yeah, apparently the military still had his body fluid samples from the 1940s. They were taken pretty quickly after he had be changed by the serum and promptly forgotten about. Put on ice and stored away for god knows what. General Ross decided he was to use my body to make monster/super soldier hybrids” Beverly explains.

“What are your options?” Pepper asks softly, knowing her friend well enough to guess what she wanted done.

“I don’t have any. The other guy is putting all our energy towards protecting the baby. Pregnancy brings on many physiological changes, the Hulk wasn’t prepared for all of them. I probably had a disposition for eclampsia, I’ll bet it’s cleared up now. I would ask for an abortion but there’s no way the Hulk will allow for it. The baby is mine and the Hulk’s.” The longer Dr. Banner talks the more relaxed she becomes. Her mind goes through the familiar processes, explain, extrapolate, assimilate. She draws in a shuddering breath.

“I imagine Steve isn’t taking the news so well.” Beverly says quietly, Pepper huffs.

“You don’t need to worry about Steve, he can take care of himself. What can I do for you, Beverly?” Pepper asks softly grabbing her friend’s hand. Beverly hesitates.

“I...I don’t know. Can you just stay for a bit? Talk with me about something happy?” Pepper smiles softly, starting up a story about a particularly ruined board meeting courtesy of Tony Stark. Beverly relaxes into the sound of her friend’s voice and drifts.

Steve makes his way out to the common area, not because that’s where he wants to be but Tony manages to herd him there. Tony gestures the couch, and Steve sits. He was going to be a father, but not by any conventional means. And to make matters worse the mother of his child doesn’t want the baby.

“How is this happening?” Steve whispers to nothing.

“Well if it makes you feel better, the world is also undergoing some sort of strange cosmic event. Also Thor is back and making a mess of England.” Clint says helpfully from his perched position on the window sill. Steve groans.

“No, Barton that does nothing to help.”

“Is Dr. Banner ok? Did something happen to her or the baby?” Clint asks, and Steve realizes that Hawkeye doesn’t know. He doesn’t know that the child in her body is his through some weird military experiment. Steve makes a split decision to not tell anyone unless Beverly wants to say something.

“She’s as fine as she can be. Finding out she’s pregnant was a shock for her in particular.” Bartson nods in understanding. Steve listens absently to Barton’s report on Thor’s battle, and sighs. Most of the information goes over his head: points of lost gravity, portals to different planets and Dark Elves, whatever that means? He hopes the Asgardian comes back to the Tower when the fighting is all said and done, Thor seemed to have the same calming effect on Beverly as Tony.

“Ok, I have delivered sandwiches.” Tony announces, explaining his long absence from the room. Barton snags his food item and Steve stares at his when Tony sets it down. Stark sighs unwrapping the sandwich.

“Eat it Steve, you’re going to have to go back and talk like adults with Beverly. Best not to do it on an empty stomach.” Clint glances between Captain America and Iron Man  
.  
“Ok, what’s going on that interplanetary rips in space and more aliens are on the back burner?” Steve glances up sharpy, he had forgotten that Hawkeye was as much of a spy as Romanoff. Tony opens his mouth but Steve beats him to it.

“It’s up for Beverly to say, it’s very personal.” Steve says quickly, glaring at Tony daring him to contradict the statement. Tony glares but shuts his mouth with a click. Barton looks unimpressed, but he doesn’t inquire further. Steve eats his sandwich but it tastes like ash in his mouth. He needs to talk to someone, but the only person he can think of is Romanoff. She was generally good at explaining things and listening. Steve stands.

“JARVIS, where is Agent Romanoff?”

“She is in her floor.” JARVIS responds, which means she’s open for taken visitors. Steve heads to the elevator. Barton and Stark watch him go. Once he’s out of earshot Clint turns back to Tony.

“What the hell, man? He’s acting like he’s the father.” Tony lets out a laugh, trust Barton to stumble across the issue at hand.

“You know Steve,” Tony says, lying smoothly “he takes everything personally.”

“I know he and Beverly were dancing around one another, did his 1940s sensibilities get weird about her being pregnant?” Clint asks, Tony shrugs, putting food in his mouth so he doesn’t have to answer. They eat in silence, watching the media coverage of Thor’s personal disaster.

Steve knocks at Romanoff’s door. It slides open and he heads toward the living room. She has tea in her hand and a look on her face. Steve sits. The silence sits on Steve like a weight. Natasha, however, drinks her tea patient as always. Steve lasts all of three minutes before he speaks.

“I need to ask you something.”

“Ok.” Natasha says setting her beverage down.

“Did you read the Ross files?”

“No, but I have a good idea how Beverly got pregnant. And the way you are acting suggests I am right.” Romanoff comments plainly.

“She doesn’t want the child.” Steve blurts out. Natasha nods.

“Most women in her and my position don’t want children. They are a liability.” Steve tries not to get angry at the clinical analysis of the situation.

“It’s a child! Not some asset you’ve been assigned.” He snaps. Natasha raises an eyebrow.

“For nearly ten years, Dr. Banner has been on the run for her life. She didn’t have a place to settle, she couldn’t settle. When I found her, she was in the most dangerous neighborhoods of Calcutta helping people who didn’t have access to medical treatment. Tell me where having a child would make sense with that lifestyle?”

“She isn’t there anymore. She’s safe.”

“No she isn’t, Rogers. Her being gone for six weeks and coming back pregnant is proof of that. Banner will always be a target, she knows this.” Steve clenches his fist. He wants to tell the SHIELD agent that she’s wrong. He wants to rage against the truth she’s presented. In the end he deflates, head going into his hands.

“What can I do?”

“I’m the wrong person to ask. You should be asking Beverly that.” Natasha says softly, a certain amount of kindness in the tone. Steve nods, he knows that, but somehow this feels like his fault. He sits with Natasha for a long time. They don’t say anything but they really don’t need to. The time allows for Steve to process the situation and prioritize. The first step was talking with Beverly. Steve stands offering a smile and a nod to Natasha. She waves him away, a knowing smirk of her face. 

Beverly sleeps in stints, Pepper left a few hours ago. The scientist's mind races, but exhaustion pulls her under a few minutes at a time. Her hand sits lightly on her lower abdomen. She’s going to have this child whether she wants it or not. She’s used to the idea now, not that it doesn’t leave a lump in her throat every time she thinks about it for more than a few seconds. A lifetime ago she would have danced around a table at the news of a child. Now the presence of the fetus reminds her everything she lost to the Hulk. Anger raises in her very bones, she bites back the scream rising out of her.

“Dr. Banner,” JARVIS calls in his soft voice “Captain Rogers is here to see you. Shall I let him in?” Beverly lets out a breath.

“Yes, thank you JARVIS.” She hears the sound of the decontamination chamber doors opening.

“Hey Doc.” Steve says approaching her bed. She turns to face him.

“Hi Steve. Some crazy life we live.” Beverly responds grimly. Steve lets out a sad laugh, he sits in the empty chair by her bed. He reaches for her hand, but pulls back in a moment of hesitation. She smiles sadly, the distance between their hands a canyon.

“I bet this is all a shock for you.” She says breaking the silence.

“Yeah, but that said, it’s not all bad.” Steve offers kindly, Beverly snorts.

“I turn into a giant green rage monster and you’re going to be a father. I’m not sure how it gets much worse.” Steve frowns putting together his thoughts.

“What can I do for you, Doc?” He asks finally after a few seconds of tense silence.

“I don’t know. It’s not your fault I’m pregnant with your child.” The sentence leaves her mouth and Beverly laughs. After a moment Steve joins in. Neither are sure if they are laughing at the strange words that are sadly true or their lives as of that moment. The laughter dies out, but something between them normalizes, and the once canyon is more of mountain path between them. Beverly covers her eyes with a forearm. Steve waits as she just breathes slowly. He can see her visibly relax, so he speaks again.

“Anything you need Doc, I’ll do it. You just need to ask, I’m not going anywhere.” Steve promises scooting closer to the bed. Beverly reaches up and cups his cheek, moving her other arm so she can look at him. He leans into the shaky touch.

“I don’t know what this is.” She tells him honestly, looking at her hand touching his cheek. Steve covers her hand with his, pulling it more in front of his face. He presses a soft kiss on her palm and leans into her hand. Beverly offers a shy smile.

“I’m not too worried.” He tells her, cradling her hand as he sets it on the bed.

“You might regret this.”

“Somehow Doc, I doubt that.” Beverly huffs but settles down. In a few minutes she falls asleep to the sound of Captain America’s breathing. Steve just keeps watch, and for an afternoon the rest of the world doesn’t matter to him.

In the weeks following Thor’s return and Beverly’s discovery, the world quiets down for a brief moment. Thor becomes reacquainted with his teammates in his usual grandiose fashion, and with one look at he immediately knows she is pregnant. Much to everyone’s chagrin he makes a big show of congratulating her, Beverly surprisingly smiles softly and takes his celebration in stride. When Tony attempts to explain the situation to the Asgardian, Beverly sends him a heated stare that has the Stark heir backing out of the room. 

Thor, unsurprisingly, doesn’t stay at the Tower as often as everyone else, he spends most of his time with Dr. Jane Foster. Beverly and Steve similarly spend most of their time together. Beverly completes physical therapy quicker than originally planned, the atrophy fading quickly once her body had normalized to the stresses of pregnancy. Beverly finds her control slipping more often, she snaps and snarls at a moment’s notice. No one says anything about the behavior change, but Steve looks at her concerned every once in awhile. Beverly stares at her body in the mirror, she can hear Steve making breakfast in her kitchen.

“You promised yourself, you are going to be different.” She tells her reflection, the person in mirror glares back. She takes deep breaths.

“Remember your training Banner. You are not that man!” She snarls slamming her hand on the counter. The noise has Steve knocking the bathroom door.

“Doc? Is everything alright?” Steve asks. Beverly sinks down onto the floor. Apparently her lack of response worries Steve enough that he comes into the steamy room. He squats down in front of her.

“Beverly?” He asks softly. She sighs, she wants to say something, to explain everything running through her mind. But she doesn’t want to be exposed like that. She’s already a raw nerve, she doesn’t know what will happen if she picks at the wounds that have managed to scab over.

“I’m sorry, I’m a mess.” Steve smiles, but the gesture doesn’t reach his eyes. The look breaks Beverly just a little bit more.

“I can’t do this Steve.” She whispers. Steve blinks trying to parse out what she means.

“Are we talking getting dressed for breakfast? Or something else?”

“Yes...no––fuck!” Beverly says rage rising in her chest; rage towards herself, towards the monster inside of her, she slams her fist into the wall behind her. Steve doesn’t flinch, he looks at her long and hard.

“You know it’s ok to be scared? I think everyone is at some point, mothers and fathers alike.” It’s a plea and confession. Beverly closes her eyes, head resting against the wall.

“Can we just not go outside? I just want to lay back down.” Steve bites his lip. He wants to fix whatever is happening to Beverly. Most of her days are spent sleeping. She eats only when Steve is watching. It’s painful to watch her slip further into herself.

“Anything for you, Doc.” He whispers, scooping her up. She grabs her PJs from the pile of laundry and pulls them back on. Steve waits twenty or so minutes and Beverly’s asleep again. He pets her wild curls before heads up to the main floor. He needs to talk to someone. The first person he runs into is Clint.

“Rogers! It’s been awhile.” Clint greets his eyes asking the question on everyone’s mind: How is Dr. Banner?

“Yeah it has. Dr. Banner is struggling right now. She sleeps too much, never eats. I can barely get her to go out of the bedroom. I don’t know what to do to make it better.” Steve sighs, Clint’s face twists into a frown.

“I don’t think that’s a problem you can fix, Cap.” Barton said after a moment. Steve glances up quickly.

“Am I just supposed to let her waste away?” Steve asks softly, defeat underlying the question, Clint sighs.

“I’m just a field agent for SHIELD. It sounds like you should be talking to someone in the Psych department.” Steve pauses at the suggestion. The thought hadn’t really occurred to him, no one he knew had ever seen a shrink in the War. The only people who did were usually incurable. Barton seems to follow his line of of thought.

“Times have changed, Cap. A psychiatrist might be able to help Dr. Banner.” Clint says patting Steve on his shoulder before exiting the room. The Captain returns to Beverly’s floor, and spends the rest of the afternoon reading about psychiatrists in the modern age. He reads testimonials of people helped by the mind doctors. He feels a bit of hope kindle, Steve just hopes that Beverly goes for the suggestion.

“Absolutely not.” Banner growls, looking at him like he suggested she transform into the Hulk. 

“Doc, you can barely get out of bed. I can’t help, but maybe one of SHIELD’s…”

“No! Steve, no one can help me. How do you help someone whose anger is a physical being? I’m not talking about this anymore.” Beverly snaps standing up and stomping back to the bedroom. Steve glances down at her plate, the food is moved around but not much is missing. He picks up the plate and follows her into the bedroom. She's laying on the bed covered by a blanket, her hair barely peeking out. Steve sits down next her, setting the plate of food onto the nightstand.

“Beverly please. You sleep all day, you barely eat, I’ve never seen you get so angry over cooled tea. Hell, until recently I’ve never seen you so angry before that didn’t result in the Hulk.”

“If you don’t like it, you don’t have to stay.” Beverly mumbles. Steve lets out a gust of breath.

“That’s not what I said. I’m not going anywhere, Doc. I just want to help you.”

“There is nothing you or anyone can do. I don’t need to be fixed or helped. This is what you signed up for Rogers.” The last sentence gets her riled up enough she sits up to glare at Steve.

“What can I do to get you to go see someone? I’ll do anything, Doc.” Steve promises softly ignoring the flashing green eyes. Beverly pauses.

“You get Tony to see the same psychiatrist for a week. If they don’t quit, I’ll see them for a session.” Steve nods, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“I can do that.” He promises. Steve drops the issue focusing on getting Beverly to eat. After a few bites, she sends Steve away. He immediately heads down to the lab where he explains his plan to Stark.

“I’m not going to a shrink.” Tony shouts over his music. Steve whips around to look at the man.

“What? Why not?”

“Because I have better things to do then lie to a doctor for an hour.” Tony snarks. Steve hisses under his breath.

“The point of therapy is to be honest. Why wouldn’t you just tell the truth?” Tony finally looks up from his project.

“Cap, have you seen us? What we do? We don’t get therapy, we get groupies and life ending situations. Besides Beverly’s given you an impossible task. She knew I’d refuse.” Steve turns away from Tony leaning on the metal table.

“You don’t know her as well as you think you do.” Steve whispers, and Tony glares at his back. The music cuts off, Steve tries not to smile.

“Really? And what wisdom have you stumbled across?” Steve turns and looks around the shop. It’s covered with half finished Iron Man suits, more plans litter the tables.

“She knows you are hurting. She’s trying to help you in the process of helping herself. That’s what she does, she never does something for herself, only for the benefit of others. So please.” Steve pleads, Tony wipes his hands on an oil stained cloth out of habit.

“You realize that I’ve never had a head shrink stick around long enough to even crack the surface.”

“I’m sure Director Fury has someone up his sleeve.” Steve quips back as he exits the room. He leans against the wall once he’s out of Tony’s sight. He really hopes that Fury has someone that can tolerate Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a beast of chapter to get through. It took my editor and I over a week (Thank you RustyCopper215). I hope it was work the wait. I hope you enjoyed reading it.


	6. Uncomfortable Solutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly lives with the idea of pregnancy, and get Tony some help along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok big fat warning: Discussions of suicide/suicide idealization and a pretty severe panic attack. Please don't proceed if you aren't comfortable with that.

Tony stares down the short man in front of him. Dr. Martin Becher, a doctor out of the psychological health department of SHIELD. He had arrived right on time and sat across from Tony and waited. Stark had seen this technique before, the doctor hoping he’d become uncomfortable enough to speak.

“Look, if you’re going to help Beverly the silent thing really isn’t going to work. I’m pretty sure she’d outlast a monk in terms of calm.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” The doctor asks. Tony sighs.

“You do know who we are right?”

“My patients. I don’t really care who the media says you are. Director Fury said that you requested someone.”

“You are not actually here for me. I’m vetting you for Dr. Beverly Banner.”

“Ah but since Dr. Banner has not yet agreed to see me, why not talk about your experiences? Several people expressed to me that you are not sleeping.”

“Price of being a genius. I have more important things to do.” Tony shoots back. Dr. Becher, raises an eyebrow.

“Resetting your biological systems and refreshing yourself is less important than work?”

“Yup.” Stark says, but he finds himself avoiding eye contact. The psychiatrist sighs.

“Mr. Stark do you want my professional opinion?”

“Not really.” Tony grumbles.

“You are exhibiting signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You are avoiding sleep most likely due to nightmares, you are working to the point of collapse, and you are avoiding loved ones which you justify with you wanting to protect them. You suffered extremely intense situation, you fought aliens, you diverted a nuke, you fell out of a wormhole in space…” Tony doesn’t hear the rest of the the explanation. His world is focusing down to a single point, he can feel his hands shaking and sweat forming on his brow. The world falls away and for a second everything goes blissfully numb. Then Tony feels his airways suddenly constrict and panic sets in. He tries to pull in air, he can hear the doctor speaking to him, but none of the words register. 

“JARVIS, what’s happening?” Tony yells at his AI as he falls onto his hands and knees. He needs to know that JARVIS still works, that he isn’t alone again.

“Sir, you are having a panic attack.”

“Mr. Stark, I need you to focus on breathing. Count to three every inhale and exhale.” The doctor commands gently. Tony tries, after a long minute he can finally pull in air without feeling like he’s going to choke. It takes another five minutes before he can uncurl and sit on the couch. Tony pointedly does not look at Dr. Becher. The silence sits between them before the doctor speaks again.

“Mr. Stark, was that your first episode of that nature?”

“Yes.” Tony breaths out. The psychiatrist nods.

“Then we’ve started at the right time. Left unchecked this could potentially escalate. I would like to see you again tomorrow. For now let us discuss breathing techniques and ways of keeping calm.” The doctor suggests. Tony doesn’t say anything more for the rest of the session, but he does learn to focus on his breaths. After two and a half hours Tony finally leaves, Dr. Becher offers a hand to shake. Tony ignores it.

“Until tomorrow Mr. Stark.”

“Yeah.” Tony mutters, hating that the doctor got to him. He goes down to his workshop and starts up on mark sixteen. After an hour Steve sticks his head into the workshop.

“Dinner, Beverly’s making something. She said to invite everybody, apparently she made enough to feed a small village.” Tony looks up. He knows he should go, but the sense of impending doom is sitting firmly in his gut.

“Sorry, I’m in the middle of something.” Steve frowns, but lets it go. Tony hears the man leave again and he sighs. He turns up his music and hopes it will drown out his mind that seems intent on playing the best hits of the invasion of New York.

Steve returns to the floor where everyone but Tony has gathered. Natasha and Beverly are in the kitchen chatting about some small city where they both tried the original recipe of tonight's dinner. Natasha has a beer and Beverly has her ever present tea cup. Clint is fiddling with the TV, he waves Steve over. 

“Tony coming up?”

“No, he’s working.” Steve says after a moment. Clint nods understandingly.

“Dr. Becher, he’s blunt. I’m sure whatever happened with Tony today was a lot to process. Beverly seems to be doing better.” Barton offers nodding towards the kitchen. Steve nods.

“She has good days and bad days. We take advantage of the good ones.”

“Any unwanted pregnancy symptoms?” Clint asks pretending to watch the TV.

“The whole thing is unwanted. But no physical symptoms other than the knowledge of being pregnant.” Steve admits, trying not to flinch at the fact Beverly’s symptoms are likely caused by the fact she is pregnant without any options. Barton claps Steve on the shoulder.

“When were you in Hubei province?” Natasha asks. Beverly pauses.

“Just before I was in Calcutta. China is an excellent place to stop in before India. You can get anything you need and get out of the country without too much trouble. Well you used to be able to anyway.” Beverly says fondly. Natasha knows the feeling. The nostalgia of being permanently on the move. You never sleep well, but there something about it that awakens something primal.

“Does Rogers do spicy food?” Natasha asks as said man walks into the kitchen, Beverly laughs points at a smaller pan.

“For those of us who have sensitive tongues.” Both women laugh, nothing was more amusing than watching Steve attempts to pretend his face wasn’t on fire. Beverly shoos him out of the kitchen with a wave of her spatula.

“He’d eat it if you put it in front of him.” Natasha says quietly.

“I know.” Beverly says quietly. “It’s probably why I make him something different.” Natasha nods watching the woman over her beer.

“How are you?” Beverly sighs at the question.

“Miserable mostly. Steve tries, he really does, but this isn’t something that can be fixed.” Beverly quietly explains. Natasha bites her lip.

“I know what it’s like not having autonomy of your own body, not getting the option of choice.” Beverly’s shoulders tense up, but the woman doesn’t say anything so Natasha pushes on.

“It’s a cold feeling in your gut. But you learn to live with it, even when it’s glaring at you in the mirror.”

“Do you ever wonder why we end up in these positions?” Beverly asks, Romanoff offers a sad smile.

“I don’t think there is a reason. It’s actually easier if there isn’t one because…”

“Because if there is a reason then it means that everything had a purpose. Even the torture.” Beverly finishes Romanoff’s thought. The Russian lifts her beer in acknowledgement, before taking a swig.

“Nat, do you think Dr. Becher can help Tony or me?”

“I think that he can help as much as you’ll let him. He’s not so bad, he’s Director Fury’s evaluator as well as Barton and I.” Beverly hums in response. The food gets plated and they sit around the dining room table. Steve blushes when he gets the special dish of non-spicy food. They dig in, throwing gentle barbs and laughing their way through the meal. Beverly eats about half her plate, much to the joy of Captain Rogers. He grabs her hand, bring it to his mouth for a kiss. Banner blushes but lets him hold her hand.

“You two are gross.” Clint says fondly. Beverly proceeds to stick her tongue out. Romanoff kicks Barton under the table and Rogers laughs remembering Bucky said the same thing once about Steve and Peggy. A throat clears over them. They turn to see Stark standing in the doorway.

“Any food left?” He asks softly, Beverly smiles and gestures to the empty seat.

“Cap had his own food so there’s still leftovers.” Natasha says as she stands to head into the kitchen. Tony sits down.

“How are you Bev?”

“Happy to see you.” She says gesturing with her hand, which turn moves Steve’s hand. Tony raises an eyebrow a familiar smirk returning to his face.

“That’s adorable, should I just have the bots move Steve’s things in here?” Both Steve and Beverly blush. Tony rolls his eyes. Barton’s eyes widen before he wiggles his eyebrows.

“Really?”

“Well, it made sense. And it was annoying having to run up stairs every time I needed something.” Steve mutters sullenly. He didn’t have much, Beverly happily awarded him two rooms of her floor to use as an art room and spare bedroom (not that it was used often). Barton continues to rib them until Natasha returns with heated Chinese food. Tony eats slowly, talking with Beverly about an idea for a more efficient cooling system for the arm repulsors he’s installed to his newest suit. It’s the first normal night since Beverly’s kidnapping the Avengers share together.

Tony finds that his therapy sessions bring up more than he wants to talk about. Half the time he ends up on the verge of a panic attack. Dr. Becher appears adept at maneuvering the billionaire into talking, which has mixed results. However, at the end of the week Stark feels lighter, more secure with the state of the world. They wrap up their session and the Dr. Becher looks at Tony expectantly.

“Well, will I see the elusive Dr. Banner?”

“Yeah, but she’s a tougher egg to crack. My bullshit is easy to find, she’s probably the most guarded person I know.” Stark points out. He knows Beverly is hurting, more than he is. At least Tony’s problems were familiar, had a name. Beverly hasn’t told anyone about her past, her life begins with the Hulk as far as any of them knew. Stark has his doubts, but Dr. Becher is good (the thought is begrudgingly acknowledged). Maybe Beverly will find some relief as well.

Beverly stares at her breakfast. Her stomach is a mess, it’s protesting the thought of food. Steve glances at her with concern. He wants to ask, but more often than not the question: are you ok?, pulls out an annoyed reaction. So he waits, and suddenly Beverly darts for the sink. She vomits, and Steve’s by her side in an instant. The nausea drags out into dry heaves, Steve holds her hair standing behind her in case her legs give out. He hears her crying.

“I can’t do this.” She repeats over and over again when her breath returns to her. She collapses down in front of the sink, head tucked up into her knees. Steve kneels down.

“Doc, it’s ok. We knew that this might happen. Barton brought that special tea for you in case.” Steve says soothingly. Beverly doesn’t respond, instead she cries, loud, wet sobs filling the air. Steve waits patiently, rubbing her back. Beverly’s sobs turn into hiccups before she lifts her head to make eye contact.

“I don’t deserve you.” She whispers, Steve frowns.

“I think I’ll be the judge of that, Doc. Now, let’s get you cleaned up.” He says, easily helping her to her feet. They walk into the bathroom and Beverly grabs the minty mouthwash.

“I really thought I had dodged a bullet with morning sickness.” Beverly mutters darkly after she spits out the mouthwash. Steve shrugs offering her clothes.

“Did you want to shower?” He asks, Beverly raises an eyebrow.

“Do I stink?”

“Well…” Steve snarks, and Beverly shoves him out the door, laughing. By the time she exits, it’s time to head down to the therapy room. They walk in total silence. Steve kisses her on the cheek. 

“I’ll be back when you’re finished.” Beverly nods, her eyes glancing nervously at the door. Steve leaves and for a moment Banner just standing in the hallway. She wills her feet to move, she should go in, she promised. But instead she remains frozen to the spot. The door opens.

“Dr. Banner, my name is Dr. Martin Becher. You can call me whatever you like.” The psychiatrist greets her with a business like tone. The sounds set her teeth on edge. She stands staring at the offered hand. She finally shakes his hand notices her hand is significantly colder than his. He motions towards the door, and Beverly finally unsticks her feet and goes inside. They settle down into the appropriate seats.

“Dr. Banner, why are you here?” Dr. Becher asks. Beverly blinks.

“I promised Steve.” She says honestly. Dr. Becher nods.

“That’s all very well but unless you want to be here and be honest with, I can’t help you. So I want to ask you again, why are you here?”

“I’m here because I’m pregnant with Captain America’s child without my consent.” Beverly spits out, enjoying the look of surprise that flashes across the psychiatrist’s face. The look fades into a serious look.

“Dr. Banner are you being held here against your will?” He asks after a moment, Beverly nearly jumps up in indignation at the question.

“What? No! The baby’s Steve’s but he wasn’t there for conception. That’s courtesy of General Ross’s obsession with creating more living weapons.” The doctor loses some tension in his shoulders. Beverly finds herself trusting the man a little bit more. He seemed ready to help her even if it meant fighting the other Avengers.

“Have you considered terminating the pregnancy?” He asks. Beverly shrugs.

“The other guy put a stop to that. I’m not even transforming now, all our energy is going towards the protection of the fetus.”

“Is that why you are sleeping so much?” The doctor asks. Beverly sighs and sits back. She doesn’t want to answer that question, because lying is something she attempts to do only when necessary. Dr. Becher waits, but when she doesn’t answer he moves on.

“Your files are fairly scarce, which is unusual for SHIELD. Would you mind if we did some simple word association?” The doctor asks, Beverly thinks it over before nodding her assent. 

“So I’m going to ask you for the first couple words that come to mind when I say a word or name.” Again Beverly nods. The doctor begins.

“Steve Rogers?”

“Home, warmth.” 

“Tony Stark?”

“Friend, genius, employer.”

“SHIELD?”

“Necessary evil.” Dr. Becher snorts at the answer, Beverly finds herself smiling as well. The words keep coming and Beverly finds herself relaxing.

“Baby?” Beverly freezes. Dr. Becher stares at her.

“Why not before?” Beverly whispers. 

“Before what, Dr. Banner?” The psychiatrist asks.

“Before I became the Hulk! Before I became something other than myself.” The words fall out in careful order. Dr. Becher inspects her body language before pressing forward.

“Is the Hulk something other than yourself?”

“I’m not talking about the other guy.” She snaps, Dr. Becher looks unruffled by the outburst.

“The Hulk is part of the reason you are unable to do as you wish with your body.” Dr. Becher points out.

“The Hulk is a result of a stupid scientist believing for a moment she could actually positively affect the world, instead of being something other that what she actually was. The feeling passed, and I’m stuck with my party trick.” Beverly feels a sardonic grin stretch across her teeth. The doctor to his credit, doesn’t look to bothered, he takes a deep inhale. Beverly uses the silence to calm down herself down. Getting visibly angry only makes her tongue looser, she reminds herself.

“Were you previously diagnosed with depression Dr. Banner? SHIELD does have it noted that you attempted suicide two years ago.”

“Yeah but it didn’t work out as I had planned. The other guy keeps dying as a mere thought.”

“So you think about it still?” The doctor asks.

“Yes, of course. If you turned into a monster that killed indiscriminately wouldn’t you remove yourself from the equation?”

“You seemed to have it together during the battle of New York.” Dr. Becher points out. Beverly sighs. She’s riding on her popularity, but she knows that someday something is going to happen and set the Hulk off properly. One stray bullet, one wrong thing said in her presence, one moment of lost control, and the real Hulk was going to burst through the illusions she’s built around herself.

“Dr. Banner, it sounds like you have not had much choice in your life. That kind of missing control can make anyone act out in self-destructive ways. Due to you admitting that you still have suicidal ideation, I would like you to have someone with you at all times. If you are feeling overwhelmed or the inability to unfocus from potentially harmful thoughts I would like you to come see me.” Beverly blinks.

“I’m not going to kill myself Dr. Becher. I physically can’t.”

“Not being able to actually kill yourself does not mean that thinking about it is not harmful, Dr. Banner. The people in your life are concerned about your well being. It’s my job to give you tools to be able to help yourself through mentally difficult situations.” The doctor says plainly. Beverly sits staring at the floor. Something about the psychiatrist’s tone and words draws out her anger. She’s suddenly livid, hands clenching as she tries to breathe through it, and suddenly her stomach revolts. She turns and expels the water and protein shake she’d managed to consume on her way down. She coughs, spitting the last of the bile out tears pricking at her eyes.

“Morning sickness.” She manages to say after a few moments of deep breaths. She can hear the cleaning robots activating, she looks up. The doctor’s expression has gone from business to sympathetic.

“My wife had strong words about the inaccurate terminology of that particular affliction.” Beverly laughs, accepting the cup of water offered to her. She sips it in silence, the doctor waits patiently. It allows Beverly to order her thoughts and feel safe as her walls reform around her.

“You’ve spent a lot of time not thinking about your past.” The doctor says plainly.

“Try my whole life.” Beverly mutters, the psychiatrist nods as though he knew that was the case. The rest of the session is much lighter, he speaks with her about thought redirection and possible methods for physical distraction. Beverly leaves emotionally exhausted. Steve meets her at the elevator, easily picking up on her mood. Lunch is already on the table and Beverly picks at her food.

“Dr. Becher wants to talk to you before our session tomorrow.” Beverly says once they are curled up on the couch books in hand. Steve glances down at the woman rest against his chest.

“Ok. Did he say why?”

“You’re the person I spend the most time with. He’s going to talk to you about spotting the signs of suicidal ideation and depressive episodes.” The words cause Steve to sit up which dislodges Beverly. She doesn’t meet his eyes, knowing the words would cause something of a fearful reaction.

“Doc, are you thinking of committing suicide?” The question causes Beverly’s heart to break.

“I physically can’t do something like that. You know that.” Beverly reminds him softly, but not outright denying. Steve enfolds her in a strong hug. He rests a head on her shoulder.

“Please,” he begs, and sound cause tears to rush into Beverly’s eyes “please, Doc. I can’t lose you.” Beverly squeezes him tighter.

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” She whispers. They stay in each other’s arms for a long time. Steve finally sits up, his face close to hers. Beverly glances down at his lips and Steve leans forward. The kiss is short and chaste. Steve pulls away slowly resting his forehead on hers.

“You mean a whole lot to me, Doc.”

“You mean the world to me Steve.” She tells him honestly. He reaches a thumb up and brushes a tear off her cheek. She leans into his hand.

“I’m trying, but sometimes it’s not enough. I know you want to be happy that you’re going to have a child…” Beverly stops speaking when Steve kisses her again.

“I never thought I would have a kid, so yeah I’m really excited, but I know that this isn’t easy for you. You are going to be pregnant for another seven months, I get all the benefits without all the difficulty.” Beverly laughs though there is little humor in it. Steve lays back against the couch arm and Beverly goes with him. 

“I’m trying to be happy. I wanted children before everything. But now, it feels like an invasion.” Steve presses a kiss against her temple.

“I’m sorry Doc.” He says honestly. She accepts the sympathy with a sigh, her fingers tapping out a mindless rhythm on his ribs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day, thank goodness for holidays. We are more than half way through, hopefully I'll get another chapter up before the end of the week. I hope you are enjoying the story this far. I would like to thank my favorite sciencetit: RustyCopper215, who sits there for literally hours to edit my story.


	7. Places I've Long Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly opens up about her past...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: CHILD ABUSE AND MURDER ahead. All of it is canon, but I just want you to know. Please don't read if it will cause undue stress.

Steve learns quickly that therapy isn’t some magic drug. Beverly sees the doctor for three weeks, two hours every other day. Dr. Banner seems make some progress, she has good and bad days. But on this particular morning, Beverly refuses to get up. She yells at him and at the world, stopping only to vomit and cry. Steve feels his own mind growing more frustrated as the hours drag on. Beverly finally rolls up under the covers and refuses to speak with him. Steve leaves the floor slamming a fist into the elevator wall. It leaves a sizable dent, and Steve feels a bit guilty at breaking Tony’s building. Steve goes into the therapist’s office feeling no calmer. Dr. Becher stands when he enters peering around for his usual patient.

“Is Dr. Banner with you?” He asks, and Steve shakes his head.

“I can’t get her out of bed.” Steve says honestly, the doctor nods.

“Then I shall go to her. But first I would like to talk to you again about being the partner of someone with severe depression.” Steve nods, unsure about the terminology of partner. The psychiatrist nods at the couch and Steve sits down. The doctor hands off a book and several pamphlets.

“As I promised the literature you asked for. They will give you a more in depth information as well as different strategies.” Dr. Becher explains, Steve flicks through them.

“Now, Captain Rogers, you’ve been living with Dr. Banner for a while now. Long enough to have an idea about her habits. How often would you say she has days like this?” The doctor says bringing to focus the issue currently wrapped in blankets several floors above them.

“She used to have one or two days a week where she refused to eat or go further than the ensuite bathroom. Those days stopped happening with regularity when she started seeing you, or at least it was easier to get her up enough to come down to see you. Other days she does alright for a little while, then sleeps for the rest of the day, those days are the most common. Then sometimes she is good, yesterday was a good day.” The doctor nods openly taking notes.

“I am glad to hear that she has had more good days than bad. On the bad days can you give me an idea of her personality?”

“Sad, frustrated. She yells a lot, then cries for yelling. She can get a little green, but right now with the pregnancy she doesn’t transform.” Steve fidgets as he speaks. He feels like he’s giving away national secrets, but he also read that honesty made therapy more effective. The doctor takes more notes. They speak for a while about not taking things personally and also not dismissing abusive behavior as acceptable depressive behavior. Steve scrunches his nose at the idea of Beverly attempting to hurt him in anyway.

“Captain Rogers, I’m going to be honest with you. Dr. Banner is sick, it’s likely that she’ll deal with depression for the rest of her life. It’s something that can be managed on a case by case basis, but there is no cure. I suspect that she was prone to depressive episodes before her accident and since the accident her feelings are significantly amplified.” Steve nods, his gut clenching, he’s heard this theory from Beverly as well but hearing from the psychiatrist’s mouth makes him very aware. The psychiatrist waits in silence as Steve processes the information. Finally Steve meets Dr. Becher’s eyes. They both stand.

“Shall we go see Dr. Banner?” Dr. Becher suggests and Steve leads the way.

Beverly hears Steve return to the floor, a second set of footsteps following. She shuts her eyes and pretends to be asleep. Steve knocks and enters the bedroom.

“Hey, Doc. Dr. Becher is here.” He says softly, able to hear that she’s fully awake.

“I really don’t want to see him.”

“He said he’d really like to talk with you. Please Bev, I think he can help.” Beverly snorts derisively.

“There’s no helping a monster.” 

“Which may be true Dr. Banner, but you are not one.” Dr. Becher’s voice carries from his position in the doorway. Beverly sits up so fast the only things that prevents her from head butting Steve is his serum enhanced reflexes.

“What would know about it?” She seethes through clenched teeth.

“I think that someone, somewhere in your life started calling you that and people throughout your life have reaffirmed that lie. I’m putting a stop to it. You are not a monster, Dr. Banner.”

“Shut up.” She whispers her voice putting Steve on edge.

“You have saved countless lives, a monster would not do that.”

“Shut up!” She says louder. 

“You have only ever cared about your loved ones and done everything in your power to protect them. A monster does not feel love, Dr. Banner. I am quite certain that you do.”

“SHUT UP!” She screams, Steve watches Beverly eyes wide with surprise. Dr. Becher waits patiently. They stare at one another, Beverly’s harsh breaths chasing the silence around the room. The doctor gestures for Steve to leave, which he does reluctantly. Once the door is shut Dr. Becher turns to face Beverly.

“Why do you need to be a monster?” The psychiatrist asks. Beverly freezes breath getting stuck in her lungs.

“I don’t want to be a monster.” She whispers “I didn’t ask for this.”

“That’s not the question I asked.” Dr. Becher points out. Beverly glares at him in response. She can be silent longer, she’s gone months without speaking. She can endure this as well. Dr. Becher sighs.

“Dr. Banner, why do you need to be a monster?” Beverly stares at the wall. The answer to his question floats to the top of her mind, but she stamps it down. The answer is connected to too many other things that she doesn’t think about.

“Shall I take a guess?” He asks and Beverly glares at him willing him to stop talking to her.

“I think that a parent called you that. That they, for whatever reason, made you believe that. And you got angry for being chosen to be the monster, when all you ever wanted to do was help people. They made it so you couldn’t help anyone, not even yourself. And that is the life you’ve known, the life where the only thing anyone can see is the monster you were taught you were.”

“Leave.” Beverly snarls, the image of her beaten, dead mother coming easily to the forefront of her mind. Her skin ripples with the Hulk, nearly bursting through the surface. Dr. Becher holds up his hands in a mockery of surrender. They both know who won.

“I’ll be in my office all day if you want to see me.” And he leaves. Beverly let’s herself collapse onto the bed. Her body feels like she’s transformed over and over again. Exhaustion sets in, she hears Steve enter the room.

“Doc?” He asks sitting next to her. She curls up away from him.

“I’m sorry.” She says not sure what she’s apologizing for. Steve reaches an arm around her, using his strength to pull her next to him. Her back is nestled against his hip.

“It’s ok, Doc. Can I get you something? Maybe some food will help?” He suggests. He’s noticed that if he can get food into Beverly, she does better. 

“I’m not hungry, I ate last night.”

“And you need to eat again this morning.”

“I’m going to throw it up.” She points out. 

“Yes, because dry heaves are so much better.” Beverly growls at him, but hauls herself up into a sitting position. Steve offers a tentative smile. They eat in relative silence. Beverly mostly glares at her food until Steve starts hand feeding it to her between soft touches and kisses. He can see the change in demeanor as the food hits her stomach. He makes a mental note about getting food into her before starting the morning.

“Doc, I got a question. It’s burning on my mind, but I’m worried I’ll upset you if I ask it.” Steve says as he collects their plates. Beverly soft smile fades.

“It’s about what Dr. Becher said.” She states, Steve nods.

“Can I ask?”

“I make no promises of answering.” Beverly says, an edge in her voice. Steve shakes his head in agreement.

“Was he right?” Steve asks quickly. Beverly feels her limbs stiffen. She breathes through the moment and focuses on the wall behind Steve. Her hand tugs absently on her clothing to hide the bruises that aren’t there anymore. Steve reaches gently grabbing her nervously moving hands.

“Do I have to answer?” She asks desperately, and Steve shakes his head. That’s all the answer he needed really. He reaches up and cups a cheek.

“I’m sorry.” Steve whispers placing a kiss on her forehead. Beverly pulls back, her face knotted in confusion.

“It’s not your fault Steve.”

“I wish…” Rogers begins before Beverly hugs him hard enough to knock the wind out of him.

“Don’t wish for anything, it never turns out the way you want.” She says seriously. Steve holds her, rubbing her back. After a few minutes Steve pulls back resting a hand on each shoulder.

“What do you want, Doc?” He asks.

“What I want and what I need to seem to be at odds.” Steve considers her words.

“What do you need, Bev?”

“Come with me? I feel like I’m going to break.” Steve’s come into several of her sessions, but typically at the end when the doctor is going over therapy plans.

“Will you be able to talk while I’m there?” He asks.

“I don’t think I can any other way. The doctor and I have been dancing around this issue for a while.” Beverly sighs, she had ardently refused to speak about her parents. Dr. Becher respected her refusal until the last couple of sessions had stagnated. He had started pressing in about the issue, and Beverly had stormed out of the session. She knocks softly at the doctor’s door.

“Come in Dr. Banner.” Dr. Becher calls. Steve follows her in, Dr. Becher raises an eyebrow.

“He stays.” She growls, daring the psychiatrist to argue. He smiles amiably in response and gestures for both of them to sit. Beverly sits on the edge of the couch, Steve’s hand held tightly in her lap.

“I’m only going to tell this story once.” She says pointedly to the both of them. Both men nod in response.

“I grew up with a father who beat my mother and I. No one ever picked up on it. Before you ask Dr. Becher, yes, he’s the one who called me monster first. When I was eleven, one night he was riotously drunk and he was gearing up for something. I had just shown him and mom the note a teacher had sent about me possibly skipping middle school and heading straight into high school. He started beating me, I think he finally meant to finish me off.” The smirk that spread across her face was something feral.

“My mom stepped in and so instead of killing me, he killed her. Beat her until her neck snapped. I just sat there and watched. Eventually he was arrested. He was an astrophysicist you know, someone from work must have figured it out. The cops were able to find my mom’s body and I was sent to live with my aunt and uncle.” Steve watches Beverly’s eyes carefully. They are far away, she’s saying the words but she’s not with them. Dr. Becher is looking at her with something close to understanding. As though the puzzle pieces are coming together.

“The Hulk is a result of you coping with the abuse and what you witnessed.” Beverly sucks in breath at the guess.

“Sometimes I was Roberta Beverly Banner, and sometimes I was the anger I had tucked away. The anger, the other guy, it’s the only reason I’ve ever survived. I planted a bomb in that state once, after I’d finally had enough beatings from the bullies. But this me had enough sense to sabotage it. It’s what got me my first military contract, my ability to plant a bomb in a school basement. I was fifteen when I started working for the military, put me through school. And well… you know how that story ends.” Beverly’s story fades out, but Steve knows that’s only part of the story. He seen the footage of her torture, of her escaping, and being hunted. She slumps against Steve exhaustion taking over. Dr. Becher looks at the both of them, his face the usual mask of calm.

“Thank you for telling me, Dr. Banner. I know you are tired, but I would ask one thing of you before you go.” Beverly eyes the doctor but nods.

“Will you say out loud: I am not a monster?” The question sits in the air like noxious poison, she swallows hard. 

“I am not a monster.” She whispers, though the words feel like she’s lying. Dr. Becher nods.

“Every time you feel like you are listening to your father, your bullies, or anyone else in your life who called you that I want to you to say this out loud.”

“They are just words, Dr. Becher.”

“Words that will hopefully one day ring true for you. Now let’s have Captain Rogers take you back to your rooms. I would like you to eat something. Tomorrow I will have an eating regimen drawn up. You don’t need many more calories at this point, but from I can tell you probably not eating enough to sustain yourself.” Dr. Becher looks pointedly at Beverly’s thin wrists. She nods quietly. Steve takes her hand easily pulling her off the couch and walking with her out of the office. They stand in the elevator for all of a moment and Steve turns and wraps her up in a strong hug. She squeaks at the force of it.

“It’s ok Steve.” He laughs sadly at her comforting voice.

“I’m the one who should be saying that to you, Doc.”

“What happened to me, it’s always going to be there. It’s the weapon that General Ross didn’t have, he didn’t know about. So I tucked it deep inside and buried it. I haven’t told that story once, not even to my aunt and uncle.” Steve rest his head on hers.

“Doc, you are not a monster.” He whispers. Beverly huffs out a breath, her eyes far away.

“I am not a monster.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was an adventure to write. This is oddly one of my favorite chapters, but I think because there is lots of comic canon.


	8. Ignoring the Status Quo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly and Steve go the next step in their relationship... Also a surprise.

The first time Beverly wanders down to the lab since the incidence of her kidnapping, Stark all but tackles her in joy. She looks around the shop that is littered with different machines. Tony looks away slightly ashamed but she doesn’t say anything. She knows he stopped going to see Dr. Becher after the week was up. Tony takes her in she’s getting more filled out and she has begun to glow a little.

“Second trimester?” He asks, Beverly nods.

“I’m about a month in. Four more to go.” She says softly. Stark nods making a mental note that he’s going to need to order baby things soon. The rest of the day is them tinkering around the shop, mostly Tony tinkering at the command of Beverly. She shows him some new designs including an adhesive polymer for wounds.

“If you activate it, it should adhere to the platelets and act like a band aid. If you throw some numbing medication into the mix then…”

“Bev, this is genius.” Tony says in awe, looking over the chemical make-up. She laughs.

“High praise from the head of SI R&D department.” She teases. Tony flashes her an award winning smile. She offers a shy smile back, her hand instinctively resting on her stomach. Tony sees the small bump for the first time, eyes focusing intently on her. Beverly follows his gaze and removes her hand.

“Sorry.” She says quickly, blushing and looking away.

“You don’t need to be sorry.” Tony whispers. Beverly smiles.

“I’m starting to get used to the idea. It’s not ideal how it happened, but Steve seems on board for the full experience. I can’t adopt out the child of Captain America and the Hulk to civilians. The child would end up on SHIELD’s list of special people.” Tony nods in understanding. He places a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I’m glad you came down to see me before I left.” Tony says softly.

“Tell Pepper I said hi. Leaving us for Malibu, you’d think we weren’t interesting.” Beverly says clicking her tongue. Tony laughs brightly.

“It’s the end of the fiscal year, the amount of bullshit she has to put up with is high.” Beverly nods, remembering stories that Pepper would tell about the end of the year.

“Have fun Tony.” Beverly says pulling the man into a hug. He returns it and Beverly heads back up to the common room.

“Dr. Banner!” Thor’s voice booms in greeting. She waves as she approaches the group, taking note that Romanoff is still out on mission.

“Bev!” Clint waves not turning away from the television.

“Doc!” Steve says coming up to her and giving her a kiss. She smiles gently at him before they turn towards the group again. Thor looks at her and smiles at her slightly distended stomach.

“I see the little one is growing strong. A child of two warriors shall be a mighty warrior himself!” Beverly offers a weak smile. She’s more comfortable with the others talking about her pregnancy. Particularly after her and Steve decided that they would keep the child.

“How is Jane?” Beverly asks, not seeing the young woman around. Thor smiles.

“She and Lady Darcy are having a girls day. Though I believe that is code for her doing something I would not want her to do.” Beverly smiles.

“Dr. Foster is a scientist, there is very little chance that you would be able to do to stop her from doing anything she had put her mind too.” Beverly points out, Thor nods.

“And I would not stop her, though I would prefer to go with her.”

“That ruins the adventure.” Beverly explains conspiratorially. Steve, who is listening to the conversation, fidgets with a question in his eyes. Clint hits his arm which causes him to look away from Beverly and Thor.

“Don’t ask. It’s not worth the fight.” Hawkeye says seriously. Steve huffs out an amused breath. Beverly reaches over and whaps Hawkeye across the back of the head.

“Really Barton?” Clint shrugs unapologetically.

“Does Natasha just stare you down when you say stupid things?” Beverly asks playfully.

“I don’t say stupid things in front of Nat, it’s how I end up in trouble in Budapest.” Clint responds, laughter on his lips. Beverly laughs loudly, a sound that rarely makes an appearance. Steve smiles reaching over a squeezing her hand, she returns the gesture. The rest of the evening goes smoothly the team joking around, laughing, and general merriment. Tony had poked his head up to say goodbye before he had left to fly to California. The evening was winding down and Beverly started playing with her hands.

“Something you need, Doc?” Steve asks over Clint and Thor yelling at one another about who was actually winning in the video game they were playing. Beverly smiles.

“I had the ultrasound yesterday.”

“I know.” Steve says quietly, he couldn’t hide his disappointment. He had gone to all other medical check-ups, but this one Beverly had requested he not attend. 

“It’s a boy.” She whispers, and Steve nearly chokes on his own breath. Both Thor and Clint quiet down turning to look at the two.

“A boy?” Steve asks his voice reaching a pitch that he hadn’t achieved since puberty. Beverly nods, her smile unsure. It takes the rest of the group all of a moment to realize what they are talking about. Thor let’s out a loud booming cheer, and Clint stands to slap Rogers on the back. Steve looks like a light breeze might knock him over, Beverly bites her lip.

“Are you happy?” She asks. Steve finally snaps out of his surprise, a smile lighting up his face.

“Yes, of course!” He all but shouts before scooping Beverly up into a spinning hug. He sets her down for a kiss. Clint wolf whistles at the slow kiss that emerges from what was intended to be a peck. Beverly pulls away and hits Barton on the arm.

“Ow!” Clint yells, actually rubbing his arm. Beverly smirks, her strength had slowly been improving, and it showed. Thor clapped his hands together.

“What will you call the child?” Beverly pauses.

“I haven’t really thought about it.” Beverly looks at Steve and shrugs, they still have time to figure it out. The rest of the night is spent throwing out strange baby names. It leave Beverly in stitches. The clock rolls around to midnight. Beverly stands, stretching her body tired from the day.

“I’m going to bed.” She announces accepting hugs from Thor and Clint. Steve stands and follows her out as well. In the elevator, Steve pulls her into a hug. She rests against his chest.

“Are you happy, Doc?” He asks almost scared for the answer. She looks up at him hand drawing senseless patterns on his back.

“I’m terrified, but I’m not alone. A year ago I child wouldn’t have been possible, now I’m living with Captain America...” Steve kisses her on the forehead, interrupting her.

“Bev, there isn’t anywhere else I’d rather be.” She smiles and kisses him gently. Steve returns the kiss softly. Steve reaches up to cup her face, and Beverly’s hands wind themselves into his hair. The air around them turns from tender to desperate. The kiss, wandering fingers, and deep throated moans send their bodies into a primal state. The elevator dings, and they all but fall out. Beverly tugs at his shirt and it pulls off. He reaches down and lifts her without much effort, pinning her to the nearest wall. He kisses his way down her neck, sucking marks along the way.

Beverly whines as a hand finds its way under her shirt. She releases the back of Steve’s neck for a moment and the shirt easily comes off her body. Steve lifts his head back to look at her, his hands running across her torso. Beverly takes a moment to enjoy her view as well. Steve moves his hands, hoisting her to sit more firmly on his hip. He carries her into the bedroom, and sits down on the bed all the while exchanging open mouthed kisses along exposed skin. Beverly smiles, rising up on her knees giving Steve better access to her shoulders and upper torso. Steve leans forward offering tentative kisses over her bra, trailing around her breasts. Beverly reaches behind and unhooks her bra. Steve catches on to her motion and easily pulls the material away. He lets out a shaky breath at the sight of her uncovered chest. Beverly laughs lightly.

“They aren’t that great.” She informs him as she straddles him. Steve cups her right breast, Beverly hums at the sensation. He drags a thumb over her hardened nipple, earning him an aroused moan.

“They kinda are, Doc.” Steve informs her cheekily, smiling proudly at the laugh the tumbles out of her mouth. Hands and mouth begin moving to gently tease and suck at her. Beverly offers little pleased sounds at his exploration, her own hands dancing along his exposed skin. Steve lifts his hips and hauls them both over so that she’s on her back. Beverly stares up at him, Steve smiles leaning down and kissing her. His hand trailing down her body, his mouth follows. He reaches her sweat pants. He looks up at the doctor. She pulls her head up to look down at him.

“Waiting for a written invitation Steve?” The captain opens his mouth to retort, and Beverly growls, grabbing his hand and pushes past her pants’ waist. Steve feels his finger graze along her underwear covered sex. Steve smiles and moves his fingers nimbly teasing along the damp fabric, while his other hand pulls at her pants. Beverly lifts her hips and she relaxes back down totally naked. Steve moves his fingers along the wet folds. Beverly lets out a shaky breath. Steve parts her outer labia rubbing his finger from entrance to clitoris. He moves in slow circles over the nub, which causes Beverly to squirm. He takes the moment of her distraction and scoots further down her body. He uses his fingers to part her outer lips, and he licks into her.

Beverly doesn’t intend to scream, but she also hasn’t had sex in nearly 15 years. Steve’s tongue on her body awakens something she had buried long ago. Her hands go to grip onto blonde hair, Steve doesn’t stop. He uses fingers and tongue to break her into little pieces. He licks short strokes over her clit as his fingers rock in and out of her. Beverly feels the heat inside her building, and she arches off the bed. Her body comes with a shudder and moan. She feels herself falling into the quiet oblivion. Steve finally looks up catching Beverly’s eyes, a smirk across his wet lips. His fingers slow, but they don’t totally pull out. Beverly lets out soft whine.

“Steve.” She whispers tugging him up to her. She kisses him slowly, one hand of his in her, the other playful teasing her nipple. Steve pulls back to look at her, question in his eyes. Beverly smiles softly, hands traveling down his ribs to rest on his trousers. She tugs at the last of Steve’s clothing, and slides them down his legs as far as she can reach. Steve kicks them off the rest of the way, erection bouncing at the motion. Beverly pushes him back, forcing him to sit down. She straddles him, hand reaching out and touching him softly. Steve moans loudly at the contact. Beverly smiles grabbing carefully and running her hand down his length. Steve makes more sounds, somewhere between growling and whimpering.

Beverly scoots forward, her hand guiding Steve’s erection. She rubs her body along his, Steve let’s out a gasps at the wet heat of her sex on his. Beverly smiles, easily lifting up and sinking down onto Steve. For a moment they both just breathe at the new sensation of being fitted together. After a moment Steve tentatively cants his hips up, Beverly gasps and repeats the motion. Beverly easily falls into the rhythm, moving her body to meet every thrust. For all their frantic foreplay, the actual act turns into something slow and tender. Steve slides in and out of Beverly as he kisses down her collarbone. Her mouth finds his every so often leading to long languid kissing. They stay like that for a long time, exploring and feeling the other’s body. Steve finally feels the pressure building in his lower torso and hips start moving faster, Beverly squeezes him every time he’s fully seated in her, and soon Steve topples over the edge. He cums into her with a shout, and she holds him through the overwhelming sensation. Steve relaxes resting his head on her shoulder.

“You are perfect.” He tells her in a gentle whisper. Beverly smiles softly.

“That’s a tall order.”

“It’s true.” Steve says seriously. Beverly makes a noncommittal noise distracting Steve with a kiss. After a few rounds of catching their breath between lip locking, Beverly lifts off Steve. They both hiss at the sensation of separating. Beverly makes an aborted motion and dashes off to the bathroom, she returns a minute later with a wet cloth. Steve lays down tugging Beverly with him. She spend a few moments wiping off the mess they had made. Once finished she throws the cloth aside, and she curls up on his chest enjoying the comfortable quiet that followed their sex. Steve running a hand along her arms just enjoying the feeling of afterglow. 

“We took our sweet time with that.” She says nodding towards the clock. Three hours had managed to sneak by, putting them firmly into the early morning. 

“Good things take a while.” Steve informs her. Beverly laughs, rolling so she’s sitting on top of him. He looks at her with adoration as his eyes scan up and down her body. They eventually rest on her slightly swollen stomach. She rests a hand on the bump.

“What a story that’ll make. The first time we had sex I was already five months pregnant with your child.” Steve’s surprised laughter pulls airy giggles from Beverly.

“This was in all the wrong order, Doc.”

“The Avengers have never been known to do things how people expect.” Beverly points out, Steve nods in agreement. Beverly carefully adjust so she’s laying on top of Steve. His arms wrap around her.

“Good night, Doc.” She snuggles his chest and responds in kind. 

“Good night Steve.” With that they fall easily into sleep’s embrace. 

The next late morning find Steve waking up to Beverly still sprawled out on his chest. He shifts slightly and she blinks awake. She smiles at him offering a kiss as payment before she gets up and dashes towards the bathroom. Steve watches her nude body go, enjoying the view. He waits to decide if he’s actually getting up or not. Beverly makes the decision for him when she crawls back under the covers. Steve tucks her against him, after a few moment Beverly suddenly sits up. A noise of surprise leaving her mouth. Steve follows her into a sitting position.

“What’s wrong?” He asks. Beverly doesn’t say anything, but grabs his hand laying it across her bump. Steve waits for a moment then feels gentle arhythmic jolts his hand. He lets out a choked gasp.

“Is that the first time?” He asks softly, awe coating his words.

“Yeah, I’m getting close to six months I knew it was going to happen soon, but…” Steve keeps his hand on her belly and kisses her. He finally pulls back to look her in the eye.

“I love you, Doc.” He whispers the words falling out of his mouth without a thought. Beverly looks at him carefully.

“I love you too.” She respond shyly, like the words are foreign to her. Steve pulls her tightly to his side. After a few minutes Beverly squirms, reestablishing her position above Steve. She looks at him with a very specific look in her eye and Steve knows they probably aren’t leaving the bed at all today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was an adventure. This was actually a lot of fun to write, I enjoy sort of light-hearted fluffy pieces, so that's what you got. It only took us eight chapters to get here, anyone have any ideas for boy baby names? Let me know what you think. Thank you for reading, I hope you are truly enjoying the story. And thank you as always to RustyCopper215, for editing.


	9. To Protect and Serve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's sent away on a mission, Beverly and him learn to be apart. But in usually Avenger fashion nothing goes as planned.

Something happens at the end of the second trimester and beginning of third. Beverly begins to grow rapidly, her small baby bump gaining prominence to the point where she had to order new clothing. She glares at the maternity clothing most mornings, hating how every piece of clothing seems to either emphasize her stomach or it attempts to hide her tummy by being a bag on her. Most of the time she became frustrated at the clothing and wore Steve’s shirts. Steve does his best to compliment her when she puts on something that isn’t his, but it doesn’t make her feel better. She feels heavy and tired all the time. Her more depressive moods are less frequent, but when they hit she can barely get out of bed, let alone eat. In a particularly bad downswing Dr. Becher orders her hooked up to an IV. Spending a night in the Hulk approved hospital room is unpleasant enough that the next morning she manages to get some real food down and return to her apartment.

The only thing that improves consistently is Beverly’s relationship with Steve. It gets to the point both Clint and Natasha were asking about wedding dates and honeymoons. Both Steve and Beverly laugh it off, but Steve seems to become more contemplative after each suggestion. It makes Beverly nervous, she wasn’t sure what she would say if Steve asked her right now, and she knew anything less than an enthusiastic yes would hurt Steve. Beverly tries her best not to think about it, currently the distraction was Iron Man saving the President of the United States. Everyone had gathered in the common living room once they had asked JARVIS if they were needed. The AI had informed them that Stark had not called for an assembly.

“I wonder what actually happened.” Steve mutters listening to the news spin how Iron Man saved Pepper Potts, the one true love of his life.

“Knowing Pepper, she probably saved him.” Beverly points out around the snack she had scrounged up.

“We’ll hear about it tonight, they are flying in, while the Malibu home is being rebuilt.” Natasha announces “Also Steve, Fury wants you for a mission. Something high profile is going on.” Steve sighs, he had been on several small missions before but with Beverly getting closer to the end of her pregnancy, he wanted to be near in case she needed anything.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ve got Barton to do my bidding!” Beverly announces as Barton wanders in half awake.

“Yes, Princess.” He mutters darkly. The title earns him a pillow to the head, Clint shrugs unremorseful.

“Are you sure Doc? I can tell Fury no.” Steve tells Beverly.

“He hardly ever asks for you and every time he has you were absolutely needed.” Beverly says sensibly. Steve concedes the point, giving his word to Natasha he’ll arrive for the mission briefing. Steve bends over the couch pressing a kiss onto Beverly’s lips before heading out to suit up. Beverly watches him go for a moment then turns back to the television.

“So I’m thinking a summer wedding.” Clint says randomly, Beverly groans.

“Why all this talk of marriage? Steve and I certainly don’t talk about it.” Clint shrugs.

“I don’t see why you wouldn’t get married. You live together, you’re having his kid and it gives you both an excuse to go to bed early which you two do anyway. Married people keep regular hours.” Hawkeye points out. Beverly rolls her eyes.

“Also gives you an excuse not be an Avenger. Married, with a kid, even Fury can’t drag you into his usual messes. He seems to think that married people with children are best left to emergency only situations.” Beverly runs her hands along her distended torso. The baby (still nameless) kicks at her hand in greeting. After a moment she stands and makes a dash for the bathroom. Her child shifts and settles onto her bladder about every twenty minutes or so. Beverly returns to find some of her tea waiting for her.

“Having a kid does not constitute a marriage.” She says after taking a few sips on her tea, continuing the conversation. Clint shrugs.

“No, but love does. Rogers is always about two seconds away from declaring his undying adoration of your person. Even when he’s working out with us he’s talking about you or the baby. He wants to do right by you both.”

“Steve is a good man.” Beverly admits softly “But I am not a good woman. I’m not sure he wants to be with me.” Hawkeye makes an annoyed sound.

“Give Cap more credit. He loves you, you obviously love him as well.”

“The world isn’t that simple. I’m still hunted, he’s Captain America, the other guy…” Clint lays a hand on hers, the words stall in her throat.

“It’s ok to want something, Bev. You can have something nice. Lord knows you deserve it.” Tears well up in her eyes at the words. Usually it was Steve repeating the words of Dr. Becher to halt her mood spirals. Barton huffs softly reaching for some tissue, Beverly takes it trying not to show her embarrassment.

“Nat and I don’t get to see a lot of happiness in the work that we have to do. But what you and Cap have, it’s everything.” Barton says softly. Beverly offers a gentle smile. A knot that had been sitting in her stomach unwinds a little bit. She and Barton spend the rest of the afternoon watching terrible television. She doesn’t understand Clint’s obsession but it seems to make him happy so she joins in with poking fun.

Tony and Pepper arrive at the Tower with little fanfare. Tony immediately quips about Beverly’s status as a very pregnant woman. She snarks back and pulls the shorter man into a hug. Tony returns the hug, his arms tight around her. Behind him is Pepper, Beverly opens her arms in invitation. Pepper hugs Beverly tightly as well. Banner recognizes the hug as the kind given to friend when one thought they were going to die. Beverly rubs the other woman’s back. Tony glances over nervously. Beverly sighs.

“Alright you two what happened?”

“Actually can that wait?” Tony says very quickly, accessing some files. Beverly frowns putting her glasses on, looking a the chemical formula in front of her. She spends a few moments inspecting it before clicking her tongue.

“What the hell? No wonder those soldiers were exploding.” She mutters flicking through the different iterations of Extremis. Barton swings down from his perch.

“I’m surprised SHIELD wasn’t more involved.”

“The guy, Killian, he was pretty focused on Tony.” Pepper explains.

“Bev, look.” Tony point out the last part of the notes. Beverly glances it over.

“You got it stable for a little while and neutralizer.” She says recognizing the familiar handwriting. She looks away from the formula waiting for Tony to tell her what he wants her to see. Tony sucks in a breath.

“I think I can use it to get the shrapnel out of my system. Before cutting into the aorta would have been impossible but now…” Stark gestures with his hands. Beverly looks again at Extremis. She starts muttering to herself calling up her virtual board. Tony sidles up beside her and they start talking about time ratios and dosages.

“That’s our cue to go find food.” Pepper announces fondly. Barton laughs good-naturedly, and offers his arm as an escort for Pepper. She takes it easily enough and they head away from the impromptu scientist workshop. She knows that Tony and Beverly will work out the problems of getting the shrapnel out of Tony’s blood system. Beverly enjoys working, her mind easily slipping into the challenge presented to her. She files away the feeling of elation for later. Something to discuss with her psychiatrist. With both of them working together the hours rush past without warning. 

Steve returns from his mission briefing with his thoughts disorderly. The mission started tomorrow and they were going to establish him in an apartment in DC. After a few days he is going to go on the mission that has Fury acting extremely cagey. There had been no explanation as to why he needs to leave the Tower, only that for the sake of the mission he had too. Steve steps out of the elevator and stares at the living room. Tony and Beverly had managed to move all the furniture out of the way and someone had gotten the boards up from the lab. He paused trying to follow the symbols scrawled across the board.

“Ha!” Beverly declared spinning and sending the file to Tony’s station. She paused to steady herself hands on her back.

“Steve!” She greets pleasantly. Steve steps over the mess they’d managed to make to go for a kiss. Tony makes a pleased sound and turns towards them. He pauses at the gentle kiss Steve gives Beverly. Stark waits, eyes observing Steve’s hand as it gently touches Beverly’s belly.

“When’s the wedding Cap?” Tony snarks in greeting. Rogers sighs.

“Someday I’m going to figure out why everyone has this wedding obsession.”

“You do see the pretty pregnant lady over there? The one who just solved a problem that think tanks have been working at for years? You better snag her before she gets away.” Tony advises wisely before ordering his bots to clean up the living room. Tony leaves easily enough after that shouting orders at JARVIS the whole way. Steve waits until the man exits the room.

“Do I want to know?”

“Tony’s going to be able to get the shrapnel removed from his system. He’ll be able to take the arc reactor out of his chest.” Beverly explains as she carefully sits down. Her feet ache from standing so long. She hadn’t noticed before, but now they throbbed with protest.

“What did Fury have to say?’ She asks after a moment of Steve staring at her intently.

“He wants me to move out of the Tower. He has a safe house set up in Washington DC.” Beverly frowns.

“Steve, I can’t leave the Tower. If something happens I have to have access to the radiation room.” Steve lets out a long breath leaning against her shoulder.

“I know, and he specifically said I was to live alone.” Beverly’s hand finds his.

“It sounds like a pretty serious mission.” She whispers. Steve kisses her temple.

“Something is not right at SHIELD. There is a reason they are removing me from the Tower. I don’t want to leave you...” He says softly. Beverly nods in understanding.

“But you have a duty. We all have our duties as the world’s peacekeepers. And besides it’s not like you can’t pick up that phone I taught you to use and call me. JARVIS will keep the communications secure.” Steve pulls Banner into his arms. He loves that she understands and hates it at the same time. She knows the difference between want and need, he wants to stay but needs to go. All Steve’s life he had wanted the sense of home that Beverly had brought, but the world didn’t seem to be able to leave them in peace.

“I love you, Doc.”

“I love you too Steve.” He helps her off the couch and they go back to their floor hand in hand. Steve follows her into the shower, unable to be more than a few feet from her. He takes her in the shower, his strength making the base which they both leaned on. She cums twice before he finally pushes into her. She moans clawing at him. Both of them ignore the growing anxiety between them. He cums with her name on his lips. He kisses her gently and carries her out of the shower and back into the bedroom. Beverly insists they towel down before they crawl into bed and Steve does his best to express how much she means to him. She whispers gentle reassurances in his ear and he runs his hands over her body. She rolls them both over so that she’s curled around his back, holding him tighter to her. The bump makes it awkward for a moment but Beverly knows Steve is the vulnerable one tonight.

“You’ll be alright Steve. Just come back to me. Can you do that?” She asks. Steve nods.

“Anything for you, Doc.” He promises.

Steve gets taken to his SHIELD apartment in a cab the next morning. He spends nearly a half an hour saying goodbye to Beverly. She finally shoos him away with a reminder to call her. Once Steve arrives he unloads a few of his things. He rolls his eyes at the record player that Fury probably had put there as a joke, they both know that Steve can use an ipod. His neighbor knocks after an hour of Rogers setting up some of his things. She’s a nice young nurse with curly blond hair, who seems kind and patient. Steve makes small talk, she flirts and he gently deflects. She doesn’t seem to bothered by it and offers a warm welcome before going to her own apartment. Steve shuts the door a sinks down to the floor. He pulls the picture Natasha took of him and Beverly sleeping on the couch together. He runs his thumb over Beverly’s face and stores the photo again. He stands and stretches.

“Gear up Rogers. It’s a mission, Beverly’s waiting for you to come home.” He whispers to himself. With that he settles into his apartment. The first week is quiet. Steve spends most of it on the phone with Beverly discussing baby names and room colors. They now know that the room will be a soft purple with blue accents. As for baby names, nothing strikes them as the right one.

One pleasant surprise of living in DC is Steve meets Sam Wilson. The ex-soldier seems to understand the strangeness of living in the Civilian world. Steve doesn’t say he’s used to living in the Avenger tower with the mother of his soon to be child, but he finds that he wants to. Steve knows that he’ll keep Sam’s number and when Steve is done being undercover, he’ll get Wilson into the Tower to meet Beverly. Natasha interrupts their conversation, and Steve waves good bye.

“How is Beverly?” He asks once they drive off. Romanoff gives him a look. She knows that they speak more often than not, but she answers the Captain.

“When I left she was keeping an eye on Stark, who is currently dosed up with painkillers from open heart surgery. He is recounting his exploits against the Mandarin for the third time today.” Steve laughs knowing that Beverly’s patience was probably running short. He could see her dozing in the arm chair as Tony rambled on and on.

“We are almost done, Rogers. Just hold out. Fury’s calling everyone in for the mission so hopefully by the weekend we should be good.” Natasha orders softly. Steve nods, his mind turning to the mission.

The mission turned out to be a SHIELD military vessel that had no business being where it was. Steve staves of irritation as he takes down half the crew. He really doesn’t want to be dealing with simple thugs, which means that Fury’s doing something behind the scenes. His thought is confirmed when Black Widow goes dark for a few critical minutes. When Steve relays his irritation, Fury blows him off and tell him to go back to the apartment which only serves to irritate Steve more. Instead of doing as ordered, he heads over to see Sam, and finds some calm in speaking with the soldier. They head out to an early dinner.

“You got someone waiting at home for you, Rogers?”

“No.” Steve says trying not to give anything away. Wilson tilts his head.

“Really? You have the look of a married man.”

“My friends all say that. No, I’m not married.”

“But there is someone? Judging by your behavior it’s a good thing” Sam teases as his eyes follow a few women walking passed the window.

“Yeah,” Steve finally admits “and she is the best thing that’s happened to me.”

“This lady got a name?” Steve smiles.

“Classified.” He jokes and Sam laughs. The soldier changes the topic, for which Steve is grateful. Steve periodically glances at his phone, a stream of texts with utterly ridiculous names fill his inbox. Steve laughs out loud at one in particular.

“You keep staring at that thing, what is so funny?” Sam asks. Steve sighs.

“My gal and I are trying to come up with good boy names and…” Steve’s mouth clicks shut. Sam picks up on the change of mood, he holds his hands up.

“I’m not going to tell anyone, man. I’m glad you got something to go home to.” Steve smiles, but quickly makes his excuses to return to his little apartment. He runs into his neighbor, who greets him. They chat for a few minutes and Steve politely invites her down for a coffee. She refuses just as politely and they part ways.

“Oh, you left your stereo on.” She tells him innocently enough. Steve feels the muscles in his back tighten. He offers a fake smile and approaches his apartment. Sure enough the lock is broken, so he swing around and goes in through the window. He all but attacks until he realizes it’s Fury. 

“Sorry, my wife kicked me out.” Fury says and Steve clicks on the light.

“I didn’t know you were married.” Steve growls in confusion at the non-sequitur, until he sees the state Director Fury is in. Fury stands limping over and pointedly turning off the light. They speak about nothing as Fury taps out ominous messages on his phone. Suddenly a shot rings out, and Fury goes down. In the confusion the downed man pushes a thumb drive into Captain America’s hand. Steve’s neighbor rushes in and introduces herself as a SHIELD agent. She calls for backup and Steve chases the shooter. Steve leaps over roof tops and throws his shield with all his might and the assailant catches it. There something familiar about the eyes looking at him. The man disappears when he throws Steve’s shield back at him.

Steve goes to the hospital and watches the doctors operate on the director of SHIELD. Natasha appears, her pleads for Fury to live under her breath. Fury des on the operating table. The weight of the evening hits Steve. SHIELD is compromised, which means that information on Beverly might also be compromised in some way. With that in his mind, Steve answers the summons to heads to SHIELD. He stops by his apartment and picks up his suit. He picks up his phone and calls through JARVIS’s encrypted line.

“Capsicle! What an honor. Hey Bev, your...”

“I don’t have time for that. Listen to me you have to go in and delete everything SHIELD has on her.” Steve says cutting Tony’s rambling off at their head.

“Rogers, what the hell is going on?” Even as Stark demands explanation, Steve can here him already tapping away at something.

“Tony, what’s going on?” Beverly’s far away voice filters through the speaker. Steve sucks in a breath.

“Tell her I love her. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“Steve… you promised you’d come back.” Beverly’s voice hits him like an uppercut to the solar plexus. Steve suddenly realizes that until he figures out what’s happening he can’t return to New York. Not if he is going to protect his small family. He lets out a shaky breath, gripping his phone tightly.

“I did Doc, but things went pear shaped. I’m sure you’ll hear about it when I get everything to rights again.”

“Rogers what the hell is this? SHIELD’s system is compromised, there’s a subroutine starting in the system.” Tony asks interrupting. Steve makes a noise of confusion.

“I wish I knew Stark. I have to go to a meeting at SHIELD HQ. Delete everything on the situation at home. No one can know.” Steve insists.

“It’ll take a while but I’ll get all the information out of SHIELD’s system. Stay safe Rogers.” Tony commands.

“You too Stark. I love you, Doc.”

“Love you too Steve. You better come home!” Beverly says firmly.

“Anything for you, Doc.” Steve whispers and hangs up the phone. He stows it and pulls into SHIELD. He feels like he’s going into battle. The casual talk with Pierce is more of an interrogation. Steve keeps his promise to Fury and doesn’t give his trust to anyone. Steve knows he’s made the right decision and SHIELD is truly compromised when he has to fight his way out of SHIELD headquarters. He finds Natasha and in a brief moment of fear he wonders if she’s a part of the problem. He grabs her and slams her against the wall. She, however, explains herself succinctly and gives him information in the Winter Soldier. 

“Bye bye bikinis.” She quips at the end, showing off a familiar scar. Steve rolls his eyes.

“Yeah I’m sure you look terrible in them now.” Steve snarks back. His trust in his ability to judge character is restored slightly. Romanoff easily leads them out of the hospital all the while creating a plan that will give them access to the flash drive Fury died to protect. Natasha begins to feed him tips on how better to blend in as they snake their way through a mall. She manages to get a location and they escape through the world’s most awkward kiss. Once in the hotwired truck, Romanoff looks at him thoughtfully.

“Are you going to tell Dr. Banner we kissed?”

“Yes.” Steve says without any hesitation. Natasha raises an eyebrow.

“You really love her don’t you?"

“Romanoff, is now really the time to be discussing my relationship?”

“We have a couple hour drive to New Jersey, what else should we talk about?” She asks pausing for a moment as though she was thinking about possibilities. She snaps her fingers in mock epiphany.

“Oh, we can talk baby names!”

“I actually hate you.” Steve grumbles good-naturedly. They spend the rest of the drive to New Jersey arguing over baby names.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter! Writing this was really fun as the story essence is the same but the situations are a bit changed. Thank you for going on this journey with me. Thank you Rustycopper215 for sticking out to the very end. Last chapter will be up in a week.


	10. As the World Falls Down, We Stand Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the starts badly ends badly. But some things turn out alright.

Beverly opens her eyes and groans, the bed around her feels too big without her usual sleeping partner. Steve’s been out of reach since he called the night before last. Beverly hisses as the baby kicks particularly hard, as if to ask where his father was. She runs a soothing hand over the bump.

“You’re ok.” She whispers not sure if the words are for her or her baby. She carefully stands, walking slowly out to the kitchen. She doesn’t feel like eating, but she could hear Steve’s gentle request for her to eat still linger in her ear. She sits in her arm chair sipping on tea looking at the toaster. She glances at her phone, hoping that it would ring. A shadow crosses over the room, Beverly looks up and gasps.

It had come as a shock when Steve had popped up on SHIELD surveillance as number one threat. Upon such notification Clint marches straight into the lab, staring at his phone like it had bit him.

“Is there a reason Director Pierce, the new Director of SHIELD, just called me in to help with the manhunt to find Black Widow and Captain America?”

“SHIELD’s been compromised.” Tony state around his wrench. Clint rolls his eyes.

“Really? I’m shocked.” Clint responds with sarcasm “What are we going to do about it?”

“Nothing, Barton. We need to stay here and make sure that Beverly stays safe. I was in SHIELD’s files earlier and deleted everything about our very pregnant Dr. Banner, but that doesn’t mean that we won’t get targeted.”

“What about Dr. Becher?” Barton demands, he knew the psychiatrist was a cog with the SHIELD machine.

“I shook him down. The man keeps everything handwritten. He was Fury’s shrink, he’s clean. And currently under complete surveillance. So far he’s talked to his wife and children.” Clint nods. Hawkeye opens his mouth to speak again when klaxons go off.

“Intruders on the Banner-Rogers floor.” JARVIS announces with urgency.

Tony and Clint look at one another. Clint sprints up the stairs. Tony follows him slowly unable to move quickly with his chest still on the mend. Clint reaches the floor first and pauses at the door, watching the Hulk take down the last of the intruders. Hawkeye squats down to observe one of the bodies. He takes note of the tactical gear and the SHIELD insignia on the vests. He swears, as Tony walks in breathing hard. Clint shows Tony the evidence, the billionaire shakes his head, taking stock of the damage in the room.

“They must have been an air drop. Fuck, someone knows about Banner.” Hawkeye growls, grabbing one of the assailants by the face. Tony slowly approaches the Hulk.

“Hey there big guy.” The Hulk snorts in greeting.

“Metal man. Hulk smash.” Tony laughs at the simple explanation and the pride that seems to echo in the Hulk’s voice.

“Yeah, you did buddy. You haven’t been around for a while.”

“Protect.” The Hulk says patting its stomach. There was no bulge or any sign of Beverly’s pregnancy. For a moment fear runs through Tony’s veins, Beverly had many hypotheses as to why her pregnancy halted her Hulk transformations. He glances up quickly trying not to show anything other than friendly behavior.

“Is the little man still safe?”

“Puny Banner and little are safe.” The Hulk says with such sincerity that is makes Tony smile.

“Thank you, Hulk.” Tony says honestly. The Hulk grunts and suddenly is shrinking down again. Beverly is left in the wake, she collapses. Tony easily catches her.

“Hey, Hey. You’re ok Bev. The Hulk saved you and the baby.” She lets out a shaky breath.

“I know, that’s all the other guy wants. To protect the baby.”

“Came in handy I would say.” Hawkeye weighs in as he stands up from checking the bodies. Beverly glances over and tries not shudder at the obviously dead bodies.

“I didn’t mean to kill them.”

“They knew about you. It’s better they are dead.” Stark says seriously.

“Yes, but someone had to give the order. Apparently someone else knew as well Tony, otherwise why send in a kidnap squad? Now there’s no way of knowing.” Beverly points out using Tony as a balancing point so she can stand. 

“I’m not sure they would have known anything. For missions like this it’s best to keep everything compartmentalized.” Barton says with his usual SHIELD training efficiency. Beverly conceded the point while her hand rubs the lower part of her stomach, her son kicking with all his might.

“It’s seems like a suicide mission attack you with nothing more than assault weapons.” Tony says as the cleaning bots begin to sweep up the glass, Tony laughs as they try to sweep away the bodies. Beverly shrugs purposefully turning away from the gruesome scene.

“You’d be surprised what people on a righteous mission think they can do.”

“Righteous mission?” Tony asks curiously.

“One of them yelled Hail Hydra as they swung in.” Beverly informed Stark. Clint frowned.

“Hydra’s been gone since World War II. Your baby daddy made sure of that.”

“Steve killed Red Skull, the head of the organization. These are Nazis we are talking about, you don’t think they didn’t have some kind of hierarchy? There was someone lined up to take a fallen leader’s place.” Beverly says plainly.

“The SSR took care of that though, it’s common knowledge.” Clint pointed out. Beverly glanced at Clint then at a body.

“Evidently they did not completely.” She said flatly.

“So now what?” Clint asks, fingers running along his bow.

“Beverly and I are going to wait for Steve to call with the all clear. You can do whatever you want Barton.” Tony says, eyeing Beverly worriedly. She sighs.

“I think I’ve proven that even if someone comes for me again there is no way anyone is going to be able to take me anywhere.” Beverly reminds them. Stark sighs, hoping that she’s right. She let’s out a gasp of air as the baby kicks her once more. Clint smirks.

“I bet he leaves bruises.” He jokes trying to lighten the mood. Beverly lifts her shirt to display her multicolored stomach, the bruises ranging from green yellow to purple. Tony and Clint both stare in horror.

“He’s Captain America’s and the Hulk’s kid, what did you two expect? Internal and external bruising is common for this late in the gestation period for a normal pregnancy, so I knew I was in for an adventure. These are all from today, I usually heal overnight.” She says tugging her shirt down again. Tony offers his arm and they head down to the securest part of the Tower, the lab. Clint goes down to his rooms and sends an encrypted message to Natasha before joining the scientists. Clint watches from his perch as the two occupy themselves with work. All of them waiting on a single call.

Steve sits in Sam Wilson’s house, guilty that he’s brought his new friend into the situation. Natasha pats him on the shoulder as she leaves for her shower. Steve sits still trying not to think about everyone who is in danger. He knows that the Avengers can take care of themselves, but the civilian population is going to get in the crosshairs of Hydra and SHIELD.

“What are you think Cap?” Sam asks when Steve wanders into the kitchen.

“We need someone high up the ladder to give us an idea of what’s going on. Hydra isn’t going to take over SHIELD without some kind of insane plan to eliminate threats.” Wilson nods in agreement.

“Does Black Widow have a plan?” Sam asks with something of reverence in his voice.

“Romanoff? Probably about ten of them with varying degrees of morality.” Steve says with a hint of laughter.

“Careful Rogers, or I might just include you in those plans.” Natasha says playfully patting Steve’s shoulder as she passes him. She sits down with her cereal and stares at the men also sitting at the table.

“What about Nathaniel?” She says after a bite of cereal.

“Nope, because Clint’s gonna never let me hear the end of it if I name the baby after you.” Steve points out, Natasha tilts her head in agreement.

“You guys eat breakfast and talk about baby names. I’m forever disillusioned.” Sam complains sarcastically. Steve chuckles.

“Steve here, is going to be father in about a month and half.” Natasha says her eye alight with genuine joy for her teammate.

“That soon? I know you said your lady was pregnant, but that’s not a lot of time. It must be hard being away from her.” Sam says sympathetically. Steve offers a sad smile.

“She made me promise to come back. So that’s just what I’ll have to do.” Steve says with a sense of finality. With that Natasha launches into her plan to get to the person who started everything –– Agent Sitwell.

Everything goes as planned at first, Sitwell squeals on Hydra as soon as he realizes his life's in danger. Steve feels hope spring up in his chest until the Winter Soldier turns up. Sitwell is killed and plans to get to SHIELD headquarters are quickly interrupted. Steve fights with everything he has in the end he makes two horrifying discoveries. One Natasha has been shot by the Winter Soldier and currently bleeding out, and two the Winter Soldier is Bucky Barnes. Steve’s not sure which one is more devastating. He tries to cope with it as they are arrested and forced into the back of SHIELD van. He turns his anger to the agents in the back of the truck.

“She’s going to die!” Steve snarls, he can feel the metal on his wrists straining to hold together. Then one of the helmeted agents attacks the other.

“Oh thank god,” Maria Hill says as she pulls off her helmet “that thing was squeezing my brain.” Steve tries not to feel irritated at the spy game SHIELD is still playing. She gets them out of the truck and to a secret base, where low and behold Fury is alive. Steve listens as Fury explains how he is alive. Steve takes the first opportunity to leave, pulling out his still intact Stark phone. He dials JARVIS.

“Captain Rogers, Dr. Banner and Sir are extremely worried for your safety.” JARVIS greets.

“Can you connect me to them JARVIS?”

“Yes, but you should be aware that SHIELD have initial access on your phone and are attempting to decipher this call.” Steve frowns.

“Have they made any progress?”

“Of course not.” JARVIS says managing to sound offended. Steve laughs and listens to the music as JARVIS connects him.

“Steve?” Beverly’s voice rings out of the ear piece.

“Hey Doc, still alive.” Steve says fondly. Beverly snorts.

“You better be. What the hell happened on the highway?” She demands. Steve sucks in a breath.

“We were getting information about Hydra’s plans for SHIELD, when an assassin found us. Doc, the assassin… He’s, well, it’s Bucky.”

“What?” She asks her voice quiet and confused “Barnes is dead, everyone knows that.”

“Yeah, well his body still walking around. He didn’t recognize me or his name. I can’t kill him Beverly, but I can’t just let him kill other people.” There is silence after Steve declaration.

“I understand. But Steve you got to remember what you promised me. You have to come home, we still don’t have a name.” Beverly whispers and it breaks Steve’s heart.

“Anything for Doc. I’ll come home when this done.”

“I love you.” Beverly tells him. Steve tries not to choke up.

“I love you too, see you soon.” With that the conversation ends. He turns to head back into the compound and sees Sam leaning against the wall.

“You and Dr. Banner? She’s your lady?” The soldier asks something of awe and fear in his voice. Steve shrugs.

“Yup, a fine lady she is. She’s making me promise to come home.”

“What’s it like having an argument with the Hulk?” Steve frowns at the assumption.

“Beverly’s probably the most calm individual that has ever graced this planet of ours. The Hulk is something else entirely.” Steve says before moving on to his plan to steal back the mock up of his uniform from the Smithsonian. He hopes that the old costume will trigger something in Bucky, a memory and seed of doubt.

The take down of SHIELD is an ugly process, particularly with them fighting against the clock. Taking down the gun ships goes well until the Bucky attacks on the last ship. Steve can’t find it in him to fight the other man. He loves this man, so he let’s Bucky toss him around the flying ship. Bucky lift his hand to punch through.

“I’m with you until the end of the line, Buck.” Steve whispers. In that moment of hesitation an arrow hits Bucky in the shoulder and shocks him into unconsciousness. Steve stares in confusion.

“What the hell, Cap? Did you forget about the woman who is pregnant with your kid, waiting for you to come back?” Clint’s angry voice filters into his ear piece.

“The ship's going down Clint we are going to go into the water.” Steve says a cold familiarity in those words coming out of his mouth.

“Jump, I’ll be in to get the both of you.” Barton’s voice is hard, but Steve takes the flying leap into the Potomac river. The water drags both Steve and Bucky down as the gunship crashes as well. Steve feels consciousness leaving his body, but he focuses on keep a hold of Bucky.

Steve jolts awake in the Tower’s med bay. Beside him is Beverly, who jumped in surprise at Steve sudden awakening. He takes one look at her and without a thought he says:

“Marry me?” Beverly blinks rapidly.

“What?”

“Marry me.” Steve says even stronger than before. Beverly tilts her head.

“What, right now?”

“Yes.” Steve says seriously, Beverly stares silent and wide eyed. Laughter breaks over the two. Steve looks over Beverly's shoulder to see Clint and Natasha watching them with amusement. 

“Alright there Lover Boy, those pain drugs are pumping through your system. You can ask your pregnant sweetheart after you are not dosed with drugs that are known for mind altering side effects.” Clint says trying to break the tension between Beverly and Steve.

“Yes.” Beverly says suddenly, surprising everyone. Steve smiles a loopy grin and falls back asleep. The next time Steve is awake his head is clearer. He asks after Bucky, who is apparently being kept unconscious while Tony and Beverly examine him.

“I’m pretty sure we can undo some of the brainwashing, but we are limited to what was physiologically manipulated. All the psychological trauma is a totally different matter. He’s probably never going to be the Bucky you remember.” Beverly tells Steve honestly. Steve nods.

“I’m not the Steve he remembers. We all change, I just want him to remember his past. I think if he remembers he can get help for everything else. Maybe he’ll be an Avenger someday.” Beverly stays silent in thought. Steve reaches for her hand, giving it a kiss.

“How do you feel about Grant?” She asks suddenly.

“It’s part of my name.” Steve says cautiously.

“Grant Joseph Rogers.” Beverly tries the name out. Steve bites his lip.

“Don’t you want Banner to somewhere in there?” He asks, Beverly shakes her head.

“I think the world has had enough Banners. We could all use another Rogers though.” She explains seriously. Steve decides to not protest that particular statement. After a few moments Beverly makes a little sound.

“You should know that Natasha and Clint are planning our wedding and honeymoon.” Steve groans.

“Those two must have something better to do than that.” Beverly shrugs.

“I think after everything that’s happened they are just ready for something good to happen.” Steve smiles.

“You are good Beverly.”

“You know, for the first time I might actually believe that.” Beverly whispers.

Epilogue:

Beverly watches as Grant and Steve play on the swing set. She’s sitting with the picnic basket. It was her and Steve fourth anniversary and Steve wanted to go out to Central Park and have a picnic with the family. Beverly had easily agreed, and the weather had cooperated with them. Grant screamed as his father pushed him higher on the swings. The nearly four year old, was fearless as his father and as intelligent as his mother. Tony already had the boy tinkering around with robotics, much to Steve’s dismay.

“You gotta give him toys that he will enjoy, Dad. Besides he took a flying leap off the coffee table and barely even bruised” Tony says after Rogers expressed his concern over the electrical wires and small fingers. Beverly glances up just before her son tackles her in a bear hug.

“Mommy! Did you see me? I can fly!” The young boy announces, Beverly smiles softly.

“Somehow I doubt that young man.”

“Unca Tony says he’ll take me flying someday.” Beverly closes her eyes.

“Of course he did.” Steve grumbles sitting down next to his wife. Beverly kisses him and Grant crawls into his father’s lap. Steve smiles hugging the child tightly. The boy squirms until Steve releases him and the boy takes off running.

“Your turn Mommy.” Steve says pointing at their child dashing away. Beverly stands going after Grant. Steve keeps the smile on his face as Grant and Beverly move around the playground, talking about whatever comes to the child’s mind. Steve’s phone beeps, he pulls it out and groans.

“Doc, we got an Assemble call!” He says loudly knowing that she can hear him.

“What? Why?”

“Who knows, they are coming to pick us up in five minutes. Tony’s going to fly Grant back to the Tower.” Grant’s eyes light up with joy. Steve tries not to groan at the obvious influence Stark has over his son. Beverly and Steve pack up quickly, and Grant chatters on about getting to fly with Unca Tony.

“You better not get hurt on this mission. It’s your turn to watch Grant while I’m in Malibu with Pepper.” Beverly says seriously as the quinjet makes an appearance in the sky. Steve laughs and kisses her.

“Anything for you, Doc.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've made it to the end of this adventure!! Thank you for sticking with me until the end. I really wanted Steve and Bev to have a happy ending, even though it didn't start out so well. Thank you RustCopper215 for editing this beast! You are awesome. Thank you, Thank you for everything, readers, reviewers alike. You've made this so much fun for me!


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